Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some randomly decided games in this Old-Timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old-school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. Also, we go really heavy on the alliteration.

How do we decide which games we do? Well, if you are declared the Sickos Committee Game of the Week, you get one automatically no matter what happens. However, the others are randomly decided by the committee writing staff; it could be the normal headliner game of the week or some random FCS game we got drawn in by and just wanted to write about because we found it compelling. We typically do about three to six games a week.

Here are the Headlines for Week 9

October 25, 2025 - Dekalb, Illinois

The contingent of Cardinals caravanned on over to DeKalb, Illinois, to take on their regimented rivals in Northern Illinois. The two squared off for the prized possession known as the Bronze Stalk. The series was at a stalemate, as both teams had split the series 25-25-2 in their prior panels. The Huskies had announced they were leaving the conference, leaving the future of the rivalry in doubt, but neither team was ready to pout; they were ready for another bout as they fought for the bronzed bean sprout and hoped to leave town with all the clout, leaving their neighbors wondering what all the fuss was about. The hard-nosed Huskies found a quick strike for a touchdown for a 7-0 lead. The Cardinals battled back and intercepted the inflated pigskin pelt. The Ball State battalion battled back and bounded into the end zone, banging down the door to tangle the tussle at 7-7. For the remainder of the first half, both teams found follies with fumbles, missed field goals, and frequent frowns with a turnover on downs. After halftime the Huskies hurried and hustled with hotheadedness and hastiness and hunted for the end zone, pushing the pineapple past the pylon for a 14-7 lead. The Cards couldn’t match the NIU notch on the scoreboard, as the inflated oval found a Huskies paw, resulting in an interception. The Cards forced a punt by NIU on the next possession. As the struck sphere soared through the sky, the Ball State returner attempted to catch it, but it was muffed, and the peanut plunged to the playing surface, and the heady Huskies hopped on the handegg. Northern Illinois notched another seven counts on the scoreboard, stretching their supremacy to two scores, 21-7. The Cardinals chirped and clawed against the NIU defense but couldn’t close the crevice or chalk up another count in their favor in the final frame. The Huskies hollered and howled as the final horn hooted, and they hoisted the hallowed Bronze Stalk to the hordes in Huskie Stadium.

NIU 21 - Ball State 7

October 25, 2025 - Starkville, MS

New entrants into a conference mean new opportunities for rivalries, ruinous road trips, and ravaging games. The University of Texas, at Austin, the Longhorns, had to make a trip to play Mississippi State University Bulldogs, who welcomed the Texas team with the well-known cowbells they sneak into the stadium. The game started off with Texas taking a lead, a touchdown that started off the scoring for the evening. After a set of punts and a missed field goal from the home team, the Bulldogs finally answer and get on the board with their first touchdown of the day. The teams raced up and down the field, daring plays ensued, and high-risk plays were attempted. One of the Mississippi State drives ended on a turnover on downs. Following two more touchdowns, one from each team, the Longhorns sent up the first turnover, an interception that led to the Bulldogs taking the lead on a field goal. The home team got a touchdown before the end of the half. Once the second half started, the Texas Varsity missed another field goal, but the CLANGA eleven could not score and was forced to punt. After more trading of the ball on punts, the Longhorns get another stop on fourth down; they enforced it on the Bulldogs. From that point, each team scores touchdowns. Four straight drives end in seven points, two touchdowns apiece for each team. At this point the home team held a 38-to-21-point lead. Then it was the Horns the rest of the way, scoring 17 unanswered points in regulation and getting another touchdown in overtime, stopping the Bulldogs and escaping with a win back to the Lone Star State.

Texas 45 - Mississippi State 38

October 25, 2025 - Chapel Hill, NC

Archaic football is a treasure trove of amazing statistics, stories, shared experiences, and success told from all perspectives and people. Football came to “The South” by way of the University of Virginia and the University of North Carolina. These teams made the odd use of scheduling where they played each other twice. Once in Charlottesville and once in Atlanta. (At the time, North Carolina does not appear to have a stadium of their own.) Records of the first meeting are spotty, but the second meeting in Brisbine Park was listed in the Atlanta Constitution and was billed as “The Last Game: It will be the most deadly battle of them all.” The teams played to a 1-1 series and ended their season there. 133 years later, the teams continue to play in the “South’s Oldest Rivalry.". The game was a hard-fought defensive game; few points were scored by either team. The Tar Heels turned the ball over three times: two interceptions and a lost fumble. Meanwhile, the Blue and Orange (as they were called then) lost an interception and had two other fumbles that Virginia was able to keep within their possession. The game had 15 different punts combined from the two teams. Throughout it all, the teams were tied at the end of regulation with a score of 10-10. In the extra period, UVA got the touchdown first, and the teams switched sides of the field. In their time with the ball, the UNC eleven got over the goal line themselves. They immediately went for two to end the game, and one of the great maxims of the sport came to the fore: “It’s a game of inches.” The Carolina blue-clad player caught the ball and made his way to the endzone, but the Virginia defense, ferocious, fixated on stopping the play, and fastidious, arrived at the point and stopped the UNC two-point attempt mere inches away from the goal line. This ended the play, ended the game, and sent the Virginia players into their usual “WAHOOO WAAA!!!” cheer.

Virginia 17 - UNC 16 (OT)

October 25, 2025 - Durham, NC

Hope tends to spring eternal, at least so goes the saying. A new coach can change the entire trajectory of a program. This has been true for Delaware State University and their Hornet football team. For many seasons the team has had their woes in the sport. North Carolina Central University has sat atop the Historically Black College and University (HBCU) football world for quite a while now and had intentions to keep that trend going. The teams met and spent the bulk of the first half turning the ball over to their opponents. Turnover on downs, interceptions, and missed field goals were the order of the first quarter. A field goal by NCCU broke the initial stalemate, and a scoop and score by the Hornets broke up the lead the Eagles had. The Eagles scored immediately after, and the half ended 10-7 in favor of the home team. The halftime show was not a turnover at all; the Approaching Storm Marching Band from Delaware State set the air alight with their amazing melodious musings. The NCCU Sound Machine grounded the crowd with their own production. The second half resumed with a pair of traded touchdowns, a punt, and two more touchdowns for each team. The rest of the way was all Hornets: another touchdown for the visitors, a fumble from the home team near the goal line, and a safety given up by the Hornets. After the free kick, the Eagles tried to move the ball, but the clock wound down to zero.

Delaware State 35 - NC Central 26

October 25, 2025 - Memphis, TN

The South Florida Bulls meandered up to Memphis looking to pad their playoff placement resume. The Tampa team took over the opening offensive opportunity and immediately came across some early catastrophes. Byrum Brown bequeathed the ball to Memphis via an ill-timed interception before the Bulls forced a fumble but failed to fall on it to maintain momentum. Three plays later, the Tigers trampled down the turf for a tremendous touchdown, tacking seven points on the scoreboard and seizing the early edge. Following this score, the South Floridians found their footing. Brown, bouncing back brilliantly from his brutal beginning, barreled down the battlefield and bludgeoned Memphis with three unanswered touchdowns and put Tampa triumphantly on top, 21 - 7. Memphis finally responded with a score of their own, slicing the deficit before halftime with merely a minute of time remaining in the first half. That minute was all the magic South Florida needed. The golden boot of Nick Gramatica gloriously flung a fabulous 46-yard field goal through the uprights, leaving USF with a comfortable ten-point cushion as time expired, up 24 - 14. The second semester of the showdown started out strong for the Tigers as they tightened the margin with a three-pointer following a ten-play drive downfield. Memphis then throttled the Bulls’ offense and forced a frustrating fourth-down failure, a turnover on downs that threatened to turn the tide. The merriment was quickly muffled, though; Memphis was forced to attempt a long field goal that sailed sadly sideways. South Florida responded swiftly as Sam Franklin sped spectacularly for a sensational 73-yard scramble that increased the lead back to 31-17. Florida failed to foresee that it was their last feeling of fortune. The fourth quarter belonged entirely to the relentless Tigers. Memphis mounted a merciless, magnificent comeback. A touchdown trimmed the deficit. A field goal further frightened the Bulls. Then another touchdown, topped with a successful two-point conversion, catapulted the Tennesseans’ total to 34, overtaking South Florida’s stagnant 31. The Bulls had barely sixty seconds to salvage something, and overtime looked to be oncoming as they worked their way desperately down the pitch. With ten ticking seconds remaining, Brown tossed the ball toward the end zone, flinging it frustratingly over the receiver’s head for an incompletion. However, a harrowing holding call pushed the panicking team back ten yards, ten too many for their talented kicker. His final, frantic field goal attempt fell frustratingly short, unable to clear the crossbar as Memphis celebrated their comeback conquest.

Memphis 34 - USF 31

Stay tuned for next week’s headlines!