Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some randomly decided games in this Old-Timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old-school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. Also, we go really heavy on the alliteration.

How do we decide which games we do? Well, if you are declared the Sickos Committee Game of the Week, you get one automatically no matter what happens. However, the others are randomly decided by the committee writing staff; it could be the normal headliner game of the week or some random FCS game we got drawn in by and just wanted to write about because we found it compelling. We typically do about three to six games a week.

Here are the Headlines for Week 3

September 13, 2025 - Berkeley, CA 

The Golden Gopher gridders gallivanted way out west to battle with the Bears in Berkeley. The Minnesota merry men, led by their nautical navigator PJ Fleck, were 2-0 and row, row, rowed the boat cross-country to Cal for a dance after dark. The Golden Bears were led by the wily Wilcox and their fabulous frosh signal caller Jaron-Keawe Sagapolutele. The game opened with a plethora of punts fighting for field position. Finally, the Bears broke through, first finding a terrific twenty-two-yard toss to Trond Grizzell down to the three and a TD toss on the next play for a 7-0 lead. The Gophers gathered themselves and marched on a slow, steady sweet sixteen play sixty-nine-yard drive to tie the tangle. Cal crossed the field in forty-three seconds, connecting on a forty-five-yard field goal for a 10-7 halftime lead. The Gophers traversed the turf for a touchdown and a 14-10 lead, but the Bears battled back, taking the very next drive clear cross the canvas, cashing in for a six count, and taking the lead back 17-14. Minnesota muscled and mashed the Cal crew, furiously fighting but only finding long field goal range to try for the tie. The Gophers kicker toed the kick but pushed the oblong oval outside the golden goalposts. The Gophers resolute defenders corralled Cal on the next drive, forcing a punt. The Bears boot bounded downward, forcing the Gophers returner to wave away everyone as the football floundered on the field, but the ball bounced tantalizingly towards the returner, taunting and teasing Perich to pick up the pointy pigskin. The Gopher tried to grab the punt, but the ball bounded away and into the Bears paws. Cal cashed in the Gopher gaffe for a treasured touchdown and ten-point lead, sending the onlooking Oski upwards in an oratory ovation.

Cal 27 - Minnesota 14

September 13, 2025 - Morgantown, WV

In 1895, West Virginia University met on the field with Western University of Pennsylvania. It was a rowdy affair but ultimately ended with a West Virginia victory by a score of 8-0. The game was called “a farce” in the second half by one observer. 130 years later, the teams renewed their rivalry, this time with WUP being called the University of Pittsburgh. What ensued after the opening kickoff was a wild, wacky, whimsical, and wondrous game that saw three quarterback changes for the home team, two of those quarterbacks throw interceptions, a flurry of points scored in bunches, and overtime played as the teams could not settle the score at the end of regulation. The game started off with five drives that all ended in kicks, punts on three, and both teams missed field goal attempts. West Virginia finally gets the scoring started with a touchdown at the end of the first quarter. Another five series end in punts, with Pitt throwing an interception. Before the end of the half, the Panthers put points on the board, a field goal. After the half, the teams continued their procession of punting another four preceding the second WVU touchdown. Once the visitors get the ball back, they get a touchdown and a two-point conversion. From there the teams furiously fight it out before the end of regulation. The Mountaineers throw interceptions on back-to-back possessions, which Pitt turns into two field goals. After a turnover on downs by the ‘Neers, the Panthers get another touchdown, their final scoring of the game. From there, it was all West Virginia. They score a field goal to send it to overtime, and with the first possession, put the ball over the goal line. In Pitt’s series, they force a turnover on downs, ending the game and securing victory on the Old Country Roads. 

West Virginia 31 - Pitt 24 

September 13, 2025 - Baton Rouge, LA

When the Southeastern Conference was founded in 1932, Louisiana State University and the University of Florida were charter members. However, they did not meet on the field until 1937. Intermittently playing each other, they settled in and have played each season since 1971. The game this season has a highly ranked Tiger team inviting the Gators into their home, and once the Gators entered “Death Valley,” it was one nightmare after another for the Gators. In a game where they were able to weather the haymakers from the Tigers, withstand the harassment from the fans, and withhold any points from the harrowing offense of the Bayou Bengals, their own offense committed five turnovers, all interceptions that ultimately led the Men from Gainesville to ruin. One of those interceptions was a pick six that ultimately put this game out of reach for the visitors. The stadium lived up to its name, and the Florida dream of a victory died on the field.

LSU 20 - Florida 10

September 13, 2025 - Newark, DE

The Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens were one of the stalwart programs at the Football Championship Subdivision for decades. This season, they moved up to the Football Bowl Subdivision to challenge themselves and the teams at the highest level. Things got off to a rocky start this season, but with the University of Connecticut coming to town, the circumstances aligned for a memorable game for the Blue Hens. The game felt like a barrel of fireworks awaiting a spark, and once it got one, the explosion of offense did not stop until the final whistle. After a punt to start the game on the opening series, the teams scored on eight of the next nine drives. After the exchange of offense, the home team held a tenuous 28-24 lead going into the half. While the teams took that break, they came back out in the second half and resumed hostilities. More scoring lit up the scoreboard. Three more touchdowns, two from UConn and one from the Hens, kept the game rolling along. After a missed field goal from Delaware, the teams entered the home stretch of the sprint, and the Delaware offense tied it up with a field goal at the end of regulation. With overtime here, the teams had no time to think, take stock, or talk among themselves. The scoring continued, as UConn got a field goal. But the Blue Hens, battered, blasted, and ultimately breaking the Huskies, got into the end zone and got their first win against a fellow FBS team. 

Delaware 44 - UConn 41 (OT)

September 13, 2025 - Oxford, MS

The Lane Train continues on his track towards the College Football Playoff with a stop at home to host the rabid, raging Razorbacks. Arkansas advanced early with a 34-yard aerial assault on the opening play. Sadly the subsequent plays weren’t as successful when the Swine Squad settled for a long field goal attempt but shanked it. The Rebels relished this result and ran down the range, putting the first points on the board to go up 7-0. Seven scoring sequences strung together by the squabbling sides settled the score at 28-28 until Ole Miss craftily kicked a field goal over the crossbar to go up 31-28 as the clock expired in the first half. The following half fielded fewer fireworks, but Ole Miss managed to tack on a 13-point lead in the 4th quarter, the largest lead of the night. The Hogs hunkered down, held tough, and hurtled into the end zone to cut the lead to six. A favorable forced punt gave the fleet from Fayetteville a chance to take their first lead in this foray. However, a fateful fumble, the only turnover in this tournament, sealed their fate. The transfer, Trinidad Chambliss, was the true star of the game with zero turnovers, two rushing touchdowns, a throwing touchdown, and a total of 415 yards on the night.

Ole Miss 41 - Arkansas 35

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for Week 4!!