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Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some randomly decided games in this Old-Timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old-school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. Also, we go really heavy on the alliteration.

How do we decide which games we do? Well, if you are declared the Sickos Committee Game of the Week, you get one automatically no matter what happens. However, the others are randomly decided by the committee writing staff; it could be the normal headliner game of the week or some random FCS game we got drawn in by and just wanted to write about because we found it compelling. We typically do about three to six games a week.

Here are the Headlines for Week 13

November 22, 2025 - El Paso, TX

Forty-one miles separate these two rival schools in a rivalry where both sides have met 102 times. The New Mexico State Aggies and the University of Texas-El Paso both were eliminated from bowl hopes a few weeks ago. This left these two raucous and rambunctious rivals to leave it all out on the field, for the silver spade and brass spittoon. The splendid Sun Bowl swarms were treated to the Mighty Miners opening the game with an onslaught of twenty straight points. UTEP usurped the Aggies army, scoring three terrific TDs in only 10 plays, and took the 21-0 lead into the second quarter. The Aggies were aggravated by the Miners margin and began their own awesome offensive ambush. New Mexico State slid down the Sun Bowl in the second three straight times for three touchdowns to twist and tangle the tussle at twenty-one! The second half of the contest was a trade of field goals until the final ticks of the game, and the Aggies were holding on to a slim three-point lead, 27-24. The Miners needed to traverse 97 yards to take a lead in the last four minutes. UTEP was undaunted by the distance and danced down the dashes and tiptoed in for a touchdown with 56 seconds remaining. The astute Aggies accepted their task and knew what they needed to do to triumph over their hated rivals. New Mexico State sped down the surface in only six plays and threw a ten-yard touchdown toss with twenty-one ticks remaining in the game for a 34-31 lead. The adaptable Aggies closed out the clock to claim the two terrific trophies to take home to lovely Las Cruces. The players raised the shiny silver spade, and Head Coach Tony Sanchez brandished the Brass Spittoon sky-high above his head in the Sun Bowl for all the spectators to see.

New Mexico State 34 - UTEP 31

November 22, 2025 - Chapel Hill, NC

On a dark night in 1891, the Duke University Blue and White (then known as Trinity) played the University of North Carolina. The teams battled to a final score of 4-6, but Duke came out on top. The teams rekindled their rivalry and ravenously had a reckoning. With their opening drive, the Tar Heels take their first and most short-lived lead of the game. From that point forward, the Blue Devils seized this game. Scoring 17 unanswered points, the Devils dropped points in bunches on the home team. Before the half, the UNC eleven get a field goal. In the second half, Duke continued their scoring. With a touchdown for the Blue Devils, the Heels started their comeback attempt. Scoring two touchdowns and getting a two-point conversion on one of the drives, North Carolina seized an advantage of 25-24. But the Blue Devils, determined and domineering, decidedly marched down the field and put their own touchdown on the board with a two-point conversion. With their final chance to get the game in their favor, the UNC offense sputtered and turned the ball over on downs, ending the threat and securing the Victory Bell for the Blue Devils. 

Duke 32 - North Carolina 25

November 22, 2025 - Atlanta, GA

As the season draws to a close, teams now jockey for position to win their conference. The University of Pittsburgh and the Georgia Institute of Technology were staring at the top of the conference and reaching for the chance to play for the title. This game proved that the Panthers were game for this one on the road and jumped all over the Yellowjackets. By the time that home team got their heads on, they were staring at a 28-0 deficit. The Jackets finally awaken and score 14 unanswered, but disaster strikes, and GA Tech throws a pick six that swings the score to PITT’s defense instead of the offense. As the teams battle on, GA Tech gets another two touchdowns and gets back within striking distance, yet again PITT gets another touchdown on a long run up the middle that seals the game in their favor. The frantic drive at the end for the Yellowjackets ends on downs, and PITT seizes control of the ACC with the inside track to the top of the conference with a week to play.

Pitt 42 - Georgia Tech 28

November 22, 2025 - Washington D.C.

As the teams wind down their season, the final game is one more chance to get a win and go into the offseason with good feelings. Norfolk State University and Howard University have had rougher seasons than expected. The Mighty Spartans got the scoring off to a brilliant start with a touchdown on the first drive and then forced a turnover on the initial drive for the Bison. The Spartans turn that into a missed field goal. Howard gets their first touchdown, but on the point after attempt there is a fumble on the snap, and the Spartans return the ball for a defensive point after, counting for two points. The next five scoring plays are all by the Bison, leading to a score of 30-9 in favor of the home team. At the half, the Howard “Showtime” Marching Band brings the “Razzle,” while the Mighty Norfolk State “Legion” Marching Band brings the “Dazzle.” After the half, Norfolk State gets a single touchdown, fails on the two-point conversion, and allows one more score from the Bison, a touchdown that wraps up the season for both teams.

Howard 44 - Norfolk State 15

November 22, 2025 - Ames, IA

Sporting special skull shields featuring a classic Cardinal in a Cyclone (coined the “Cynado”), Iowa State’s squadron savored a sincere Saturday sendoff to their storied seniors. Rocco Becht began the battle brilliantly, building a beautiful 75-yard opening odyssey that orchestrated early offensive excellence. On the inaugural incursion, the quarterback completed all his passing attempts, capping the carefully crafted conquest with a 9-yard touchdown toss to Brett Eskildsen. Kansas faced calamity on their counter crusade, collecting only 20 yards before conceding to kick back to the Cyclones. A failed fling flew over Finn Lapin’s head, forcing him to formulate a fleet-footed foray of a punt that managed to flow down the field for 27 yards.

The Cyclones continued their commanding control. Carson Hansen hammered home a 4-yard touchdown rush to hoist the home team up 14-0. Kansas kept trying but couldn’t crack Iowa State’s stubborn defense. The Jayhawks journeyed into Iowa State territory seeking their first score, but a 41-yard field goal attempt fell frustratingly short. Kyle Konrardy, conversely, crushed a colossal 55-yard kick that stretched the Cyclone’s cushion to 17-0. The jarred Jayhawks had been shut out in the starting semester for the first time all season.

The third quarter spawned some scoring surges from both sides. Kansas came charging out with conviction, wrapped up with Leshon Williams willing a 4-yard run through the middle, tallying a touchdown, and trimming the total to 17-7. But Iowa State immediately answered. On fourth-and-one from the 20-yard line, Becht boldly blasted a bomb over the blockers, and Brett Eskildsen bagged his second touchdown, restoring the robust 3-score lead. The catastrophe continued to come calling for the Kansas crew. Jalon Daniels incurred an ill-fated injury and was forced to flee the field. The backup, Cole Ballard, bravely entered and immediately threw a tremendous touchdown toss to the tight end, Boden Groen.

But Iowa State wouldn’t be beaten. A beautiful barrage of balls ballooned the Iowa State bias until the clock counted down to all zeros and the Cyclones came away as the conquerors, concluding a compilation of 3 consecutive crushing losses to their Kansas counterparts.

Iowa State 38 - Kansas 14

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