Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some randomly decided games in this Old-Timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old-school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. Also, we go really heavy on the alliteration.

How do we decide which games we do? Well, if you are declared the Sickos Committee Game of the Week, you get one automatically no matter what happens. However, the others are randomly decided by the committee writing staff; it could be the normal headliner game of the week or some random FCS game we got drawn in by and just wanted to write about because we found it compelling. We typically do about three to six games a week.

September 5th, 2026 - Cincinnati, OH

The eager Eagles from Boston were led into battle by the brash Bill O’Brien. Their fearsome foe was the Cincinnati Bearcats, who clawed their way to a 7-1 start last year but free fell all the way to 7-6. Their steward Scott Satterfield was ready to steer the ship out of the skid. The two teams tangled in the first half and stymied each other until the Bearcats broke through with a touchdown toss from French the Fourth to make it 10-0. BC tried to chip away at the Cincy lead, but a kick careened wide, leaving the score 10-0 at the break. After the half, the Bearcats burst through the Ted Roof-led defense and bounded down the temperate turf for a touchdown in ten plays. The Eagles needed an answer but fumbled the pointy pigskin back to the Bearcats on the very next possession. Scott Satterfield was stoked along with Nippert Nation. Bolstered by the BC bumble, the Bearcats cashed in for another touchdown to take a commanding 24-0 lead. Bill O’Brien’s BC boys were not going down without a fight. They finally found the endzone and got a 2-pointer to make it 24-8. Nervousness set in at Nippert but the Bearcats beat back the BC offense, forcing a turnover on downs and then another turnover on downs. Cincy then clawed to a field goal and found a squirrel on the field and then added another touchdown. The Eagles got one of those trash-time touchdowns with a tiny amount of ticks on the timer to close out the contest.

September 5, 2026 - Eugene, OR

The Boise State Broncos have been biting at the ankles of major college football for over two decades, smashing the glass ceiling that is perceived to hang over all teams looking to challenge the biggest names in the game. One state to the west stands the University of Oregon Ducks who have worked hard to earn their place among the biggest names by winning games, conferences, and having a new uniform each week. The teams meet on the field regularly to hash out who dominates the Pacific Northwest.

The Broncos galloped out in front with a touchdown on their first drive to quiet the crowd. The Ducks then soared into the endzone to tie it and ignite the Autzen Stadium faithful. Boise State pulled away with a 10-point run that lasted until the waning moments of the half, when the team with webbed feet scored their second touchdown.

The second half began the track meet that everyone thought would happen when these two took the field. The teams traded scores back and forth, turning the gridiron into a track meet. The exchange of scores included a pair of touchdowns and field goals for the mighty Men from Oregon and a touchdown and a field goal for the braggadocious Broncos. Ultimately, Oregon’s scores put the lead out of reach for the Broncos.

September 6, 2026 - Miami Gardens, FL

Rivalry is the cornerstone of college football where teams find cause to meet and do battle on the field. Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) have some of the most storied rivalries in the sport, many of which were played this past week.

The rivalry between Florida Agricultural & Mechanical University (FAMU) and South Carolina State University began in 1930 with a defensive struggle. Adding extra stakes to this game is the Orange Blossom Classic, being played in Miami Gardens.

The game began simply, with the Rattlers kicking a field goal. From there, the Bulldogs bullied and bludgeoned the home team, breaking the base defense and scoring two touchdowns to take a lead they then never relinquished. Before the half, the teams traded scores: a field goal for the Rattlers and a third touchdown for the Bulldogs.

During the half we would be treated to another rivalry: the Marching 101 of South Carolina State University and the Marching 100 of FAMU renewed their own rivalry. Trading musical munitions, the teams launched musical messaging and sang “We are the best!” bringing the stadium's denizens to their feet to dance to the music.

After halftime, the South Carolina State eleven continued scoring with yet another offensive touchdown, a pick six, and added a field goal late in the fourth quarter to put this game out of reach and palindrome their rivals.

Thank you again for reading! We will have more games next week and maybe have this on a normal date! We can really blame this on Florida State’s Power Outage.

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