The Sickos Synopsis - Our Weekly early 1900s Style Old Timey Game Recaps - Week 0 & 1 Edition

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Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some randomly decided games in this Old-Timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old-school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. Also, we go really heavy on the alliteration.

How do we decide which games we do? Well, if you are declared the Sickos Committee Game of the Week, you get one automatically no matter what happens. However, the others are randomly decided by the committee writing staff; it could be the normal headliner game of the week or some random FCS game we got drawn in by and just wanted to write about because we found it compelling. We typically do about three to six games a week.

This is a special Week Zero and Week One Edition. We wanted to bring this back after a year off from writing this and don’t worry the Sickos Stats Summary is Coming Back too!

We should have three weekly items we publish here, the Sickos Synopsis, the Stats Summary and our Sickos Food Fusions, along with other special items from time to time throughout the year.

We don’t plan on paywalling the writing, as we’re just a random committee of writers trying to do silly things. We do have an option to support the committee writing if you want, and we greatly appreciate it.

August 23, 2025 - Honolulu, HI

Stanford University and the University of Hawaii have played a total of five times, including this most recent contest on Big Island this past weekend. The first meeting in 1946 was played in such terrible mud that those in attendance requested that the local vendors sell them umbrellas instead of concessions. 80 years later, these teams return to the inaugural game and renew their series in much better conditions. The game began in a benign fashion. The Cardinal got on the board early with a field goal. On the ensuing kickoff, the Rainbow Warriors return man decided to take the ball out of the end zone and was stopped at the one-yard line! This led to disaster immediately, as the ‘Bows gave up a strip sack in their own endzone recovered by the Visitors, who took a 10-0 lead. Fighting through a pair of punts, the home team gets their first points of the day with a touchdown. The Cardinal drive the length of the field and miss a field goal, which the Warriors promptly go on a drive that ends on downs. When Stanford gets the ball back, they put the ball between the uprights for their second made attempt. But not to be outdone, the Men from Honolulu, hurried, harried, harassed, and humped the ball down the field for their second passing TD of the day, taking their first lead of the game. After the break, Stanford goes on an odyssey of a drive, a 20-play, 85-yard drive that goes for six, adding the extra point to give themselves a three-point lead. After stalled drives from each team, the Bows get a field goal to tie the game. The teams’ defenses stand strong, forcing 3 more points before the Hawaii defense gets a turnover of their own. An interception that puts the team in prime position. Nine plays later, the Rainbow Warriors are kicking the game winner and going into the season 1-0.

Hawaii 23 - Stanford 20

August 23, 2025 - Dublin, Ireland

For the 109th time, Farmageddon (or perhaps “Farm O’Gedden” is more apt) was played. This contest between Iowa State and Kansas State has been a perennial matchup, as these teams have shared a conference for over a century. The teams met in Ireland to kick off the 2025 season and brought American football to the Emerald Isle in an emphatic, exciting, and emotional way. In the wet conditions, the teams began the game fumbling the ball. Iowa State lost possession on a wet field with a wet ball. The Wildcats could not capitalize and punted. With this continuing for three series, the stalemate is finally broken by the Cyclones, who get the ball over the goal line. The Men from Manhattan respond immediately, scoring a touchdown of their own and tying the game. From there to the end of the first half, it was a comedy of errors, turnovers, punts, and missed field goals, with no scoring done with the teams heading into the lockers. When they emerged, two more punts and a long drive from the Wildcats that ended on downs. From there, the game hits the switch for excitement: the next seven series all end in scoring except for another turnover on downs from KSTATE. The Clones scored 17 points in the exchange, and the Wildcats scored 14. With the game on the line, 4th and 3 to go, the Men from Ames lined up and executed a pass to a free-running tight end that escaped the notice of the defense. With this final first down, the Cyclones kneel out the game and head back to the States with the first win of any team in the 2025 season.

Iowa State 24 - Kansas State 21

August 23, 2025 - Atlanta, GA

In 2005 at Legion Field in Birmingham, AL, the MEAC and SWAC conferences met for the inaugural MEAC/SWAC Challenge. The game kicked off the season and one of the great traditions of college football. Twenty years later, the conferences are still engaged in battle to determine bragging rights, who has the best band, and to showcase Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) to the world. This year’s 20^th edition features the North Carolina Central University Eagles and the Southern University Jaguars. Each team came into this game with high expectations, both seeking to plant the flag of the conference and take back the trophy to show their victory for all time.

The game began with the Eagles taking the ball 80 yards into the end zone. Scoring on a 13-play drive and setting a trend they would follow for most of the game. The Jaguars had lightning in a bottle and scored on an explosive run from their QB, who scampered untouched into the end zone. After a 16-play drive, NCCU fumbles at the goal line, but the Jaguars punt once they have the ball. Central gets a field goal to take the lead, but Southern, self-assured, stands tall and scampers into the end zone on another explosive running play to take their first and only lead of the contest. The Eagles answer right back on the next play from scrimmage with a long play of their own, getting into the end zone and taking the lead for good.

NC Central 31 - Southern 14

August 30, 2025 - Amherst, MA

The Temple team took a trip to the north to take on the Massachusetts Minutemen in McGuirk Alumni Stadium. The two teams would tangle, both with new commanders commandeering their first forays with their poised and portaled players. The Minutemen marched masterfully down the green grass, with their first feel of the football finding the end zone for an early 7-0 lead. The Owls opening possession found a timely 12-play drive matching the Minutemen’s touchdown with one of their own, tying the tie at 7-7. The Minutemen then marched right down the gridiron and took a 3-point lead after a 40-yard boot. UMass was undone by coughing up the pill on their next possession, and the Owls, ever the opportunists, organized a timely touchdown for a 14-10 advantage. The Mighty Minutemen resolute to rectify their former flub. A 41-yard gallop gained a first and goal at the Owls 3-yard line. The Minutemen fought and forced forward to the 1-yard line on a fourth down. UMass understood taking the lead back from the Owls could be the key to victory, but the Temple toughness triumphed and muzzled the Minutemen’s movement, resulting in a glorious goal-line stand. The Owls offense, energized by their defense’s defiance of the UMass offense, trekked 99 yards in five fast plays, taking a commanding 21-10 lead. The Owls onslaught continued as Temple touchdown after touchdown turned into a torrential downpour of precious points all over the once melodious McGuirk, turning the Minutemen marvelers into a melancholy mass. On the other hand, the Owls onlookers are optimistic and overjoyed with new commander Coach K.C. Keeler.

Temple 42 - UMass 10

August 29, 2025 - Boulder, CO

Determined to decide a decades-long disagreement for the distinguished distinction of the 1990 National Championship, Deion’s deft dynamos greeted the group from Georgia Tech for a game on the gridiron. Precipitation periodically pummeled the pitch, potentially perturbing the planned performance of both parties. Key’s crew quickly caught catastrophe, ceding the ball to the Colorado company on their first three chances. The Bees brutish blockers buckled down and belayed the brave Buffaloes, bestowing only a single touchdown despite the beneficial breaks for the Boulder boys.

A hardy hindrance and a handful of healthy happenings hoisted the honeymakers over the herdsmen up 13-10 into halftime. Anxiety was abounding across the arena as the attacking armies accosted arduous achievements, tying the game 20-20 late into the fourth quarter. A fabulous 45-yard run by their fleet-footed and fearless frontman freed the Yellowjackets of their fateful fix, favoring them with the lead in the final few minutes of the game. The Colorado coach countered with questionable command of the clock. The CU quarterback, Kaidon Salter, heaved a hopeful Hail Mary as the hourglass emptied, hushing and humbling the hard-beaten hosts.

Georgia Tech 27 - Colorado 20

August 30, 2025 - Clemson SC

Tigers are known to be solitary animals, hunting and living alone in the wild. Though, in college football there are dozens of schools that have a mascot that resembles the feared, Bengaled beasts. Two of the mightiest were on display this week with the LSU Tigers coming into town to play the Clemson Tigers. In a wildly anticipated event, the Bayou Bengals bedazzled, blasted, and besieged the hometown Clemson Tigers in a defensive showdown that had everyone on the edge of their seats all night. From the kickoff to the half, the teams traded punts and turnovers. An early LSU fumble gave an opportunity for the home team to take an early lead. After more excellent defense, the visitors get on the board themselves with a field goal. The Clemson Tigers get back over the goal line for the second and final scoring play of the night, taking us to the half with a small lead. That advantage is swiftly lost in the second half of the game as the home team misses a field goal and the invaders from Louisiana drive the field and get another touchdown. From there, Clemson does the following on their drives: Interception, Punt, Turnover on Downs, Punt, Turnover on Downs. In the midst of the offensive stalling, the men from Baton Rouge get another touchdown to put them over the top, sealing their victory as the best Tigers of the night.

LSU 17 - Clemson 10

August 30, 2025 - Miami Gardens, FL

In 1933 in Jacksonville, FL, a football game was played between Florida A&M (FAMU) and Howard University at Durkee Field. The game was a hard-fought game and was won on the kick by a freshman reserve player named Alton Williams. The game ended 9-6 and was dubbed “The Orange Blossom Classic” by the locals. The name and the game stuck around. The 2025 edition of the Orange Blossom Classic features the same teams, though some new faces dot the rosters and sidelines, but as usual, the cyclical nature of football shows its face again. The teams now meet at Hard Rock Stadium, and indeed a low-scoring affair was to be had. The Men from Howard got the scoring off with a touchdown and held a lead on that play alone for the rest of the first half, the only scoring done by the Rattlers being a field goal before the break. After the football teams left the field, the Howard University “Showtime” Marching Band and the FAMU “Marching 100” got into the action and shook the walls of the stadium with their magnificent, melodic musings. Once the halftime show was over, the Rattlers bared their fangs, kicking two more field goals to take a lead late into the game. But the Howard Bison, emboldened, empowered, and energized, executed an exemplary drive that faced fourth and the game at least once, but marched down the field. After nine nervous plays, the Bison sent out their kicker, this time a sophomore instead of a freshman, who sent the kick through the uprights, securing victory for Howard University in a reversal of the first edition of this American Football Classic.

Howard 10 - FAMU 9

August 29, 2025 - West Point, NY

The visiting FCS footballers struck first, firing a 30-yard field goal to finish off a twelve-play foray that reflected their hosts. Army delivered a rapid response, relying on the rush on all but one play of a seven-play, 75-yard roll to the end zone. The two offenses then swiftly swapped short stints on the field before Tarleton started the scoring again. Allowing a second twelve-play drive troubled the troops, who transcended the Tarleton touchdown with a fifteen-play field goal trip of their own, tying the game at ten apiece. A holding penalty halted the next possession by the Texans, handing the hosts a hope of leading at the half. The West Pointers popped off a 27-yard pass prior to rolling up the remaining field with four straight rushes, reigning 17-10 over the opening periods.

Tarleton fared poorly on their first attempt out of the break, failing to move forward during a four and out. The two foes then exchanged fourth-down failures, each failing to pick up a first. Army looked likely to continue lengthening the lack of offense until a penalty revived a drive, allowing a pair of long plays to return them to the promised land. The visitors answered immediately afterward, adventuring 75 yards in seven plays to swing the scales back to a single score. At this point, Army failed to force any forward momentum for the remainder of the contest, flinging two interceptions and losing a fumble before adding two punts and flubbing a field goal. The visitors eventually exploited this excess of opportunities to even the score at 24 but botched any further attempts to break the deadlock and bury the Black Knights.

The first extra frame saw the foes swap field goals, forcing the game to a final few drives. The home side had the first shot but shoved their kick wide left, opening the door for Tarleton State to thread theirs through for only their second ever triumph over an FBS team.

Tarleton 30 - Army 27 (Double OT)

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