The Sickos Synopsis - Our Weekly 1920s style Old-Timey Recap for Championship Week - Ft. Buffalo/Akron, UTSA/North Texas, Michigan/Purdue, Utah/USC, JSU/Southern, Sac State/Richmond, Tulane/UCF

Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some randomly decided Sickos games in this Old-Timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. Here are the headlines for Championship Week.

Dec. 2nd - Buffalo, NY

In a rescheduled rendezvous, delayed due to a stupendous snowstorm, the amateurs from Akron adventured to Buffalo to battle with the Bulls. The Buffalo Bulls needed one last victory to claim a bowl game and the 2-9 Akron athletes stood in their way. The overzealous Zips threw an interception on their first drive but then bowed up, bouncing the Bulls backward on a goal line stand. Then the Zips zigged and zagged on their second drive zooming down the field for an 11 play 97 yard touchdown drive. The zestful Zips then zapped the Buffalo quarterback for a safety taking a surprising 9-0 lead. The much maligned Akron backup quarterback Jeff Undercuffler Jr, found a second touchdown pass to amplify the Akron advantage to 16-0. The Bulls battled back and found a field goal to dwindle the disadvantage down to thirteen. Then Buffalo bounded into the end-zone with a timely touchdown toss to cut the Akron advantage down to 16-10 with 30 ticks left in the first half. The Bulls continued to battle and burst into the end-zone for a 17-16 lead at the end of the 3rd Quarter. Akron activated their offense one last time to take the ascendancy again 22-17. The Bulls continued to battle but an ill-timed interception could have cost their bowl game goal. However, on the next play the zonked Zips bungled the ball and it bounced back to the Bulls. Buffalo, with new life, launched down the field and flung themselves into the end-zone to take a 23-22 lead. Akron attempted to answer but it went awry and the Bulls were bowl bound! 

Buffalo 23 - Akron 22  

Dec. 2nd - San Antonio, TX

The Mean Green marched down I-35 to rumble with the Roadrunners in the Conference USA Championship game. Earlier in the year, the Roadrunners beat the Mean Green by a minuscule margin. The Alamodome was audibly augmented by the rowdy Roadrunners rounding out the deafening dome. UTSA usurped the North Texas defense and tiptoed down the sideline for a touchdown. The Mean Green matriculated the moleskin masterfully to tie the tangle at 7-7. The Mean Green then muscled up and muzzled the Roadrunners on the 1 yard line denying UTSA after a 19 play 74 yard drive.  North Texas then notched a field goal to lead 10-7. The Roadrunners then ran right down the field to take a 14-10 lead after a Mean Green mishap in the form of an interception. UTSA upgraded their lead to 17-10 after a forty-two yard boot. Another Mean Green mishap in the form of delay of game knocked North Texas back forcing a punt. The Roadrunners ran right down the field again finding pay-dirt pushing their lead to 24-10 at halftime. The Roadrunners never looked back and launched into overdrive drowning the Mean Green under an all out aerial assault by their maestro and MVP Frank Harris. He passed the pigskin perfectly for 341 yards and tossed three of his four terrific touchdowns to the zippy and zestful Zakhari Franklin. The Roadrunners rounded out their Conference USA membership with back to back blissful and boisterous Conference Championship crowns.  

UTSA 48 - North Texas 27

Dec. 3rd - Indianapolis, IN

Winning the conference is the dream of a great number of teams in the Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS). The oldest of these conferences is the Big Ten Conference, playing football in 1896. Coming into their first conference championship game in their 135 years of play, the Purdue Boilermakers seek their first conference championship since 2000. Their opponents in this game are the Wolverines from the University of Michigan seeking to defend their championship from last season and have done so in emphatic fashion this season with an undefeated record of 13-0. The game kicked off and the Boilermakers immediately went three and out and punted to the Wolverines. Michigan took the ball immediately over the goal line scoring the first points of the game and taking the lead. But Purdue fired back, getting back on track, taking the ball into the end-zone for a touchdown for themselves and tying the game. Following a Michigan punt, the Boilermakers bound brashly and boldly into the Michigan territory and kicked a field goal to take the lead for themselves. But the Wolverines then respond with an odyssey of a drive, going 13-plays, 75-yards into the end-zone re-securing the lead that they never relinquished. The final points of the half were kicked through the uprights by the Boilermakers. After the intermission the Michigan Men score touchdowns on back-to-back possessions, one to start the half and one after they forced a punt from the Purdue offense, Michigan then snag an interception, but are forced to punt immediately after. The Boilermakers get a pair of field goals in back-to-back drives in-between which their defense forces an interception. But then the Wolverines pour it on, getting another takeaway deep on the Purdue side of the field, and punch the ball into the end-zone. After allowing another amazing field goal, Michigan scores their final touchdown of the day, these being the final points of the evening. Putting Purdue’s precious persevering all for naught and securing another Big Ten Title for the Maize and Blue. 

Michigan 43 - Purdue 22

Dec. 2nd - Las Vegas, NV

Football came to the Pacific coast in 1886 and began in an organized way in in 1915. Throughout the years various conferences have been known by many names but the modern iteration of the conference is the known as the PAC-12 Conference. After a winding season and the abolition of conferences this season has been played and after the dust settled two teams meet in Allegiant Stadium to determine who will be the champs of the league. This season’s contest features the University of Utah and the University of Southern California. Possessing the conference’s two best records both come into this game poised to seize the trophy for themselves. The heavyweights squared off in this game with Caleb Williams leading the Trojans onto the field and scoring a touchdown on their first drive. Getting the game off to a raucous start and setting the tone for a points packed premium procession. On their first drive of the game the Utes take the ball into Southern Cal territory and get a field goal for their troubles. But scoring quickly in a 6-play drive the Trojans put another touchdown on the board. Then the Utah Utes unexpectedly undermined themselves with a short three and out which the Trojans capitalized on by putting three more points on the board. To make matters worse the Utah squad fumbled on their subsequent drive, but the defense then stopped the Los Angeles players for a turnover on downs. Then taking an eleven play drive the Utes get their first touchdown. The forcing a Southern Cal punt on their fifth drive of the half the Utes close it out with a tremendous triumphant terrifying fourteen play drive to score the final points of the half tying the game at 17. The second half started with a pair of punts, one from each team, but the Utes then break the stalemate with a quick striking 57-yard touchdown pass to take the lead. From there, the Utes never looked back, never relinquishing the lead to their opponents. The second half ended with the Men from Utah scoring 30 total points in the second half, twenty-three of those points in the fourth quarter decisively decimating the denizens of Southern California and defending their Conference title duplicating the feat for the second year in a row. 

Utah 47 – Southern Cal 24

Dec. 3rd - Jackson, MS

Since 1920 the Southwestern Athletic Conference (SWAC) has pooled together HBCUs in the deep south with the purpose of organizing athletics. This season the SWAC has the Jackson State Tigers looking at a second consecutive championship and staring destiny in the face. The Southern University Jaguars are the winners of the West Division and the final obstacle for the Tigers to undefeated season and a berth in the Celebration Bowl. The game started with four drives by the Jaguars that all ended giving the ball to the Tigers. A punt, an interception, and two fumbles (in that order) ended early efforts expeditiously and put the ball into the hands of the explosive Tiger offense. After each drive Jackson State scored points, and after the onslaught was over the score was 26-0. Southern got on the board with a touchdown but couldn’t stop the Tigers who scored another touchdown extending their lead to 33-7. The next five drives ended with not points and both teams went into the half. Each university’s band then took the field and got the fans to move with the groove. Thee Sonic Boom of the South representing Jackson State shook the south in their home stadium. Meanwhile the Human Jukebox is the band from Baton Rouge and made the Southern faithful proud with their wonderful melodies. The third quarter showed that the Southern Jaguars would not go quietly into this good night and scored 14 points in the quarter on two spectacular drives that secured their final point total of 24 in the game. However, Jackson State determined destined decided to devour the Jaguars in the second half and score 10 points of their own in the third quarter. Forcing two more interceptions in the game the Tigers ended the Southern threat and secured their second consecutive SWAC championship. Showing that Thee Jackson State University is the premier football program of the SWAC this season. 

Jackson State – 43; Southern - 24

Dec. 3rd - Sacramento, CA

The Richmond Spiders made their way crisscrossing the country to challenge the Sacramento State Hornets. The weather was dreary as both teams had to deal with the downpour in saturated Sacramento. Sac State, affectionately known as the Stingers, struck first slip sliding their way down the soggy soil for a 7-0 lead. The Spiders were sprightly and struck on three straight drives to sprint out to a 21-7 lead. The Sac State crowd began to become bothered as their Hornets had never won a game in the FCS playoffs. However, the Hornets hurried to more than halve the deficit before halftime only down four 21-17. Steady showers soaked the field but the Hornets hopped into the lead after a 95 yard kick return to open the half. Richmond regained their regard and retaliated by ringing up ten unanswered points and heading into the fourth quarter up 31-24. Sac State switched signal callers after he tossed his third interception of the day but luckily the Spiders couldn't stretch their supremacy. The spry Stingers backup quarterback, Asher O’Hara, headed up the Hornets hive and tossed a terrific 51 yard touchdown pass putting Sac State back in the supremacy for good.  Sac State seized their first ever playoff win and slid on into the FCS Quarterfinals for the first time ever. 

Sacramento State 38 - Richmond 31

Dec. 3rd - New Orleans, LA

The UCF Knights returned to Yulman this time to tangle with the Tulane Green Wave in a clash for the American Conference Championship. The Knights knocked off the Wave 38-31 in a hotly contested contest a few fortnights ago. The Knights looked to notch another Conference crown, while the Wave could capture their first conference coronation for the first time in 24 years and their second in 73 years. The Wave walled off the Knights forcing a punt and then found pay-dirt with a Michael Pratt pass to go up 7-0. The Wave found another field goal to go up 10-0 but the Knights knifed through the Wave defenders to trim the lead to 10-7. The Tulane passer Pratt tossed a pinpoint pass to push the Wave’s lead back to 10 at halftime 17-7. After the half, the Green Wave gridder known as the terrific Tyjae Spears slashed and sliced through the Knights defenders defiantly dancing and darting down sixty scintillating yards for six giving the Green Wave a 24-7 lead. Tulane was on another trip to a touchdown but the Knights knocked the ball loose causing a fortuitous fumble. UCF understood they needed points to plug their fading hopes of a conference title and they took to it, finding a touchdown to trim the lead to 24-14. The Wave didn’t waste time and they answered back with an aerial assault for a 73 yard touchdown strike to stretch the lead 31-14. The Knights notched a touchdown taking it down to 31-21 and then forced a fumble with their foot, finding another touchdown shortly thereafter to trim the lead to 31-28. The Wave never wavered and wound up with another scintillating 60 yard touchdown, this time in the form of a precision Pratt pass, pushing the lead back to 38-28. Tulane then denied the Knights on downs and a Pratt play fake allowed him to scamper in for a 45-28 lead. The Wave defense dashed all hopes of a UCF comeback by closing out a drive denying them on downs again. The youths at Yulman yearned to celebrate the conference championship and leapt over the coliseum walls and congregated on the field clamoring and cheering for the glorious Green Wave. It was a “Helluva Hullabaloo” as Tulane took home a title for the first time in 24 years and they earned their first New Year's Six Bowl Bid for the first time since 1939. 

Tulane 45 - UCF 28.