Due to some changing conditions in my personal life, namely an 18-month-old toddler, I realized I wouldn’t be able to due the crazy old-timey style of writing with heavy alliteration this year for the weekly recaps. Don’t worry, I will try to bring that back next year.

So, this year at the Sickos Sentinel, we’re going to bring you something called the Sickos Stats Summary. It’s basically going to be weird stats on different things we found that we don’t think get a lot of attention. We will make some graphics every week and try to give you a few amounts of stats that are unconventionally appealing or things that don’t get highlighted much.

Do I know how many stats will be in each weekly post? Nope.

Welcome to the Sickos Stats Summary for Week 1!!

You know we love our safeties here. It’s a scoring play that's rare, and it leads to weird scores that you don’t see too often. So we want to shout out these 11 Teams that scored a safety in Week 1. We were able to gather data from FBS, FCS and DII.

SAFETY ALERTS FOR WEEK 1

We will keep records for all the teams that score a safety. Currently, if you score a safety against your opponent, you are 8-3 on the year.

LONGEST SCORING DRIVE OF THE WEEK - TIME OF POSSESSION AND PLAYS

The North Dakota Fighting Hawks went on an absolute expedition against Iowa State. The drive started with 23 seconds left in the 1st Quarter and ended at the 3 minute mark with a 26 yard Field Goal to make the score 7-3 Iowa State. Funny thing too, is that Iowa State took the next drive in for a touchdown and a 14-3 halftime lead.

LONGEST NON SCORING DRIVE OF THE WEEK - PLAYS AND TIME OF POSSESION

I feel bad for Western Kentucky here, but they didn’t settle for the sad field goal down 28-0 in the first half to Alabama. They drove 21 plays and 71 yards, getting down to Alabama’s 8-yard line for a 4th and 5. TJ Finley ran for the first down, but he was stopped a yard short. Much love to Western Kentucky for giving it a goal and earning this award this week.

SHORTEST SCORING DRIVE - DISTANCE AND TIME OF POSSESSION

Delaware intercepted Bryant and was knocked out at the 1-yard line. They missed the Pick-6 by KT Seay, but they punched it in one play later. So, KT Seay this award is for you just missing out on your Pick-6.

LONGEST PUNT OF THE WEEK

Wes Pahl of Oklahoma State booted a 73-yard punt against South Dakota State, and it likely should have been downed inside the five, but the player couldn’t control it, and knocked it in to the end zone for a touchback. This is not the fault of Wes, and he earns Longest Punt of the Week status.

LONGEST PUNT OF THE WEEK - NON TOUCHBACK

Look, I know some of you are going to fight me on the Longest Punt of the Week stat, because it had a touchback. This award is for you. Patrick Rea went back to punt on Louisiana Tech’s first possession and booted a 70-yard punt that was downed on the Nicholls 1-yard line. Way to start the game off strong, Patrick!

SHORTEST FIELD GOAL OF THE WEEK!

Matt Rhule decided to settle for a field goal from the UTEP 2-yard line. The Huskers were up 37-7 and had just gone on a 17-play, 87 yard, 9-minute, 26-second drive to effectively end the game and go up 40-7. There is no shame in this field goal at all.

Thank you for reading! I am going to try to find more strange stats for next week as I get my searching method down better. Also if Boston College or Florida State breaks these stats, I am going to be upset haha!