Hello and welcome to our Sickos FC World Cup Preview. We figured we’d give you a Sickos F.C.-style preview of the World Cup. We know all the issues going on with this World Cup, but we still wanted to break it down for you in a way we typically preview college football seasons. Commish, Big Sky Brigit, and Lord of the Spreadsheets Kevin have compiled this data for you.
Basically, we’re going to give you some basic knowledge about all 48 teams in this extremely large (and expensive) World Cup. Then some funny tidbits and one Sickos thing about each team. Will this knowledge help you in any way? Maybe it will find you a rooting interest or maybe a fun fact you can share with someone at the bar while you watch the games. Maybe it’s just more useless information or something you can’t unsee, like the damn arrow inside the FedEx logo between the E and X. Stupid arrow.
Since we have so many teams this year, 48 of them in fact, compared to prior World Cups, which only had 32 since 1998. The teams will be split into twelve groups of four teams, with the top two teams in each group and the eight best third-placed teams progressing to a new round of 32. Talk about playoff expansion. We’re only going to preview three groups (12 teams) at a time in a four part series. Welcome to Part 1.
GROUP A
Mexico (H)
Oldest Player: GK Guillermo (Memo) Ochoa, 40 (151 caps)
Youngest Player: MF Gilberto Mora, 17 (6 caps, 0 goals)
Best Name on the Team: Guillermo (Memo) Ochoa.
Team Nickname: El Tri (El Tricolor) - named for the three colors of the Mexican flag
Coach Name: Javier Aguirre (since 2024)
FIFA Rank: 15
Best World Cup Performance: Quarterfinals in 1970 and 1986
How did they qualify? Auto-qualified as host nation
Best player: MF Edson Álvarez is the captain of the squad and the heart of their defense
The league where most of the team plays in: Liga MX
Base Camp: Centro de Alto Rendimiento, Mexico City
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Mexico City doesn’t really do chains. Go eat local.
National dish: Tacos, Mole Poblano, or Chiles en Nogada
One Sickos Thing: Despite qualifying for nine straight World Cups, and making the knockout stage in 8 of those, Mexico have not won a knockout match since the last time they hosted, in 1986.
This guy is totally ready for the World Cup. What an absolute fit.
South Africa
Oldest Player: Forward Themba Zwane, 36 (53 caps, 12 goals)
Youngest Player: Defender Mbekezeli Mbokazi, 20 (10 caps, 1 goal)
Best Name on the Team: Relebohile Mofokeng or Evidence Makgopa
Team Nickname: Bafana Bafana - “The Boys” in Zulu
Coach Name: Hugo Broos (since 2021)
FIFA Rank: 60
Best World Cup Performance: 17th in 2002, eliminated after group stage with a 1-1-1 record
How did they qualify? - Won Group C of CAF qualifiers with a 5-3-2 record (5 wins, 3 draws, 2 losses)
Best player: Forward Lyle Foster plays for Burnley and has scored 10 goals in only 26 appearances for South Africa so far.
The league where most of the team plays in: South African Premiership
Base Camp: Camino Real Pachuca, Pachuca, Hidalgo - Universidad Del Futbol [es], San Agustín Tlaxiaca, Hidalgo
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Carl’s Jr, <1km
National dish: Bobotie - a spiced minced meat (commonly beef or lamb) baked with an egg topping
One Sickos Thing: This is South Africa’s first appearance since they hosted in 2010. They have the dubious honor of being the first host country to fail to advance from the group stage of their own tournament, in 2010. Qatar joined that club in 2022. Speaking of Qatar and South Africa, enjoy the Vuvuzela video here (thanks YouTube for this label on a video).
South Korea
Oldest Player: GK Kim Seung-gyu, 35 (85 caps)
Youngest Player: MF Bae Jun-ho, 22 (12 caps, 2 goals)
Best Name on the Team: Bae Jun-ho
Coach Name: Hon Myung-bo (since 2024)
Phenomenal Away kit for Korea
FIFA Rank: 25
Best World Cup Performance: Fourth place as hosts in 2002.
How did they qualify? - Went undefeated and won Group B of AFC qualifiers with a 6-4-0 record
Best player? - Probably still Son Heung-min, but Kim Min-jae is in the prime of his career and playing centerback for Bayern Munich
Team Nickname: Officially, Taegeuk Warriors (Taegeuk meaning supreme or ultimate in Korean). Informally the Reds to fans and media.
The league where most of the team plays in: South Korean K League (6 players)
Base Camp: The Westin Guadalajara, Guadalajara, Jalisco and Chivas Verde Valle, Zapopan, Jalisco.
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Shake Shack, 1.4 km
National dish: kimchi, bulgogi, bibimbap, jajangmyeon, bingsu, tteokbokki
One Sickos Thing: Son Heung-min is already the player with the most appearances (caps) for the South Korean men’s national team, but comes into the tournament four goals behind 70’s striker Cha Bum-kun in the country’s all-time leading scorer list. HOWEVA, he has not scored in 12 appearances so far this season for MLS club LAFC.
Czechia
Oldest Player: Midfielder Vladimir Darida, 35 years old (78 caps, 8 goals)
Youngest Player: Midfielder Hugo Sochůrek, 18 years old (0 caps, 0 goals)
Best Name on the Team: Štěpán Chaloupek or Tomáš Holeš
Team Nickname: Nároďák (The National Team) or Repre (The Representatives)
Coach: Miroslav Koubek (since 2025)
FIFA Rank: 41
Best World Cup Performance: Runners up in 1934 and 1962 (as Czechoslovakia). Only previous appearance as Czechia was a group stage elimination in 2006.
How did they qualify? - Placed second behind Croatia in Group L of UEFA qualifiers, beat Republic of Ireland and Denmark in playoff Path D.
Best player - FW Patrik Schick averages a goal every two appearances for the national team. Also, he makes a good razor competitor with Gillette.
The league where most of the team plays in: Czech First League
Base Camp: Hilton Garden Inn Dallas-Arlington South, Arlington, Texas and Mansfield Multipurpose Stadium, Mansfield, Texas
Brand new stadium in Mansfield for their training ground.
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Golden Corral Buffet & Grill - in the attached parking lot! Czechia please go to Golden Corral. We need this video.
National dish: vepřo knedlo zelo (roast pork with dumplings and sauerkraut)
One Sickos Thing: Have only scored once from open play in 2026, but have 3 set piece goals in the same time frame. Won both of their UEFA playoff qualifying matches in penalty shootouts to reach the World Cup. Set Piece National Team??
Group B
Canada (H)
Oldest Player: MF Jonathan Osorio, 33 (89 caps, 9 goals)
Youngest Player: DF Luc de Fougerolles, 20 (11 caps, 0 goals)
Best Name on the Team: Goalkeeper Dayne St. Clair has Big 12 quarterback energy
Team Nickname: Les Rouges (The Reds), The Canucks, or The Maple Leaf Team
Coach Name: Jesse Marsch (since 2024)
FIFA Rank: 30
Best World Cup Performance: Eliminated in group stage of both previous appearances
Canada’s away kits
How did they qualify? Automatically qualified as hosts
Best player: Defender Alphonso Davies might be the most talented male Canadian soccer player of all time (In this house we respect Christine Sinclair). Canada’s all-time leading scorer is Jonathan David (no relation to Craig David), who is only 26 and looking to add to his total in this Cup.
The league where most of the team plays in: MLS (6 players)
Base Camp: The Westin Bayshore, Vancouver, British Columbia & National Soccer Development Centre, Vancouver, British Columbia
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: McDonald’s, 500m (we did metric here)
National dish: Poutine, donair (variation of döner kebab, thin-sliced ground beef wrapped in flatbread), butter tarts, Nanaimo bar (no-bake dessert named after the city in British Columbia), tourtière (meat pie)
One Sickos Thing: Canada have lost every World Cup match they’ve ever played, going 0-3 in 1986 and 2022. Alphonso Davies has Canada’s only World Cup goal, against Croatia in 2022. They have a good shot to change this while hosting.
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Oldest Player: FW Edin Džeko, 40 (148 caps, 73 goals)
Youngest Player: MF Kerim Alajbegović, 18 (8 caps, 1 goal)
Best Name on the Team: Ivan Bašić - you think the pronunciation is basic but no.
Team Nickname: Zmajevi (The Dragons) or Zlatni Ljiljani (Golden Lilies) - What polar opposite nicknames.
Coach Name: Sergej Barbarez (since 2024) - His first-ever head coaching job!
FIFA Rank: 65
Best World Cup Performance: Group stage elimination in 2014 (1-0-2 record)
How did they qualify? Finished second behind Austria in UEFA Group H. Defeated Wales and Italy in Playoff Path A.
Best player: National legend Edin Džeko still leads this team at 40 years old
The league where most of the team plays in: German Bundesliga, 5 players
Base Camp: Asher Adams, Autograph Collection, Salt Lake City, Utah and Real Salt Lake Stadium, Sandy, Utah. They get MLS digs.
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Dave & Buster’s, 0.4 miles
National dish: Bosnian pot (meat and vegetable stew), ćevapi (grilled minced meat), burek (Balkan pastry)
One Sickos Thing: Bosnia defeated Italy in penalty kicks to reach their second ever World Cup through the UEFA qualifying playoffs. They failed to make it out of the group stage in their other appearance, winning one game and losing two in Brazil 2014. Edin Džeko, who scored in their only win in 2014, is still active with the team for 2026.
Commish’s favorite Serie A team Sassuolo defender Tarik Muharemović doing the Steph Curry
Qatar
Oldest Player: DF Lucas Mendes, 35 (24 caps, 1 goal)
Qatar’s 8 most capped players of all time are on this roster
They have the oldest roster in the tournament, with 5 players 35 or older
Youngest Player: MF Tahsin Jamshid, 19 (1 cap)
Best Name on the Team: Abdulaziz Hatem - Forget the pronunciation because he will be the Qatari He Hate Me for me. Does he like em? No He Hate-m.
Team Nickname: العنابي, (The Maroon One)
Coach Name: Julen Lopetegui (since 2025)
FIFA Rank: 55
Best World Cup Performance: Group stage elimination in 2022 (0-0-3)
How did they qualify? Finished fourth in AFC qualifying Group A, advanced to fourth round where they finished first in another Group A over UAE and Oman to qualify.
Best player: Captain Hassan Al-Haydos has the most caps in Qatar national team history.
The league where most of the team plays in: All but one player play in the Qatar Stars League
Base Camp: Courtyard by Marriott Santa Barbara Goleta, Goleta, California
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: McDonald’s, 0.4 mi
National dish: machboos - an Arab mixed rice dish, usually with chicken and spices
One Sickos Thing: This is Qatar’s first time qualifying for the World Cup through normal means, since they automatically entered as hosts in 2022. They lost all three games in 2022, scoring only one goal in a 3-1 loss to Senegal. Their match against Canada is guaranteed to get at least one side their first positive result in a World Cup game.
The Qatar Crest
Switzerland
Oldest Player: MF Remo Freuler, 34 (86 caps, 11 goals)
Youngest Player: MF Johan Manzambi, 20 (10 caps, 3 goals)
Best Name on the Team: Defensive Midfielder Granit Xhaka, because what’s not to love about a world-class defender who shares a name with a type of rock?
Team Nickname: A-Team Nati (National Team), Rossocrociati (Red Crosses), Devils rouges (Red Devils)
Coach Name: Murat Yakin (since 2021)
FIFA Rank: 19
Best World Cup Performance: Quarterfinals in 1934, 1938, and 1954. We’ll say 1954 was the best performance because the 1930’s editions did not feature a group stage.
How did they qualify? Finished first in UEFA Group B, with a 4-2-0 record
Best player? The previously mentioned Granit Xhaka has held down the midfield for this team for 144 games.
The league where most of the team plays in: German Bundesliga (8 players)
Base Camp: Fairmont Grand Del Mar, San Diego, California
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: El Pollo Loco, 3.1 mi
National dish: fondue, muesli (cold breakfast cereal similar to overnight oats), raclette (melting cheese dish), rösti (sauteed or pan-fried potatoes)
One Sickos Thing: Switzerland holds one of the most Sickos records at the World Cup: being eliminated without giving up a single goal. In 2006, they reached the Round of 16 without ever conceding, drawing eventual runners-up France 0-0 and then defeating Togo and South Korea 2-0 each in the group stage. They drew Ukraine 0-0 in the knockout match before losing in penalties. In 2010, they didn’t give up a goal until the 75th minute of their second group stage game, setting the record for consecutive minutes without conceding in a World Cup. The current team only gave up 2 goals in 6 matches en route to winning their 2026 qualification group. If you enjoyed watching Arsenal this past season, this might be the team for you. Also, who did Granit Xhaka spend a large chunk of his career playing for? That’s right, Arsenal.
Hey look, it’s Granit Xhaka. He plays for Sunderland now.
Group C
Brazil
Oldest Player: GK Weverton, 38 (10 caps)
Youngest Player: FW Rayan, 19 (1 cap)
Best Name on the Team: GK Weverton. Brazilian mononyms are a rich pool, but we’re going with the guy who sounds like an English lower-division team or Everton plus a W. You think he likes toffee?
Team Nickname: Seleção (The Selection), Canarinho (Little Canary)
Coach Name: Carlo Ancelotti (since 2025)
FIFA Rank: 6
Best World Cup Performance: 5-time champions
How did they qualify? Finished 5th in CONMEBOL
Best player: FW Vinícius Júnior has 31 goals Champions League competition at only 25 years old.
The league where most of the team plays in: English Premier League, 8 players
Base Camp: The Ridge, Basking Ridge, New Jersey and Columbia Park, Morristown, New Jersey, home of the NY Red Bulls.
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Dunkin’ Donuts, 0.5 mi
National dish: feijoada (black bean stew with pork and beef), Picanha (fat-capped cut of beef, usually grilled)
One Sickos Thing: It’s not easy to find a Sickos narrative for the most successful soccer nation on Earth: the only team to make every single World Cup, five-time champions, and one of this year’s favorites. Brazil is currently on their longest-ever streak of not making the World Cup finals, with their last finals appearance coming in their 2002 win. Their best finish since was the semifinals of the 2014 tournament they hosted, and for their sake I will restrain myself from referencing what happened next.
We’re mainly afraid all of Brazil will come get us if we say anymore.
Morocco
Oldest Player: GK Munir Mohamedi, 37 (50 caps)
Youngest Player: MF Ayyoub Bouaddi, 18 (0 caps)
Best Name on the Team: Issa Diop - it’s just fun to say.
Team Nickname:أُسُودُ الأَطلَس, (The Atlas Lions)
Coach Name: Mohammed Ouahbi (since March 2026)
FIFA Rank: 8
Best World Cup Performance: Fourth in 2022
How did they qualify? Won CAF Group E
Best player: Defender and captain Achraf Hakimi
The league where most of the team plays in: Spanish La Liga, French Ligue 1, and English Premier League all tied with 4 players each
Base Camp: Somerset Hills Hotel, Tapestry Collection by Hilton, Warren, New Jersey and Pingry School, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Starbucks, 0.2 mi
National dish: couscous, tagine (slow-cooked stew with meat, vegetables, and spices)
One Sickos Thing: Morocco replaced their coach after their chaotic loss-that-became-a-win-in-court in the Africa Cup of Nations final. They promoted their U23 coach, who had only held that job for 4 months. After AFCON drama, Morocco head to World Cup with big ambitions
Haiti
Oldest Player: GK Johny Placide, 38 (79 caps)
Youngest Player: DF Keeto Thermoncy, 20 (1 cap)
Best Name on the Team: Defender Keeto Thermoncy
Keeto Thermoncy - He plays for Young Boys in Switzerland.
Team Nickname: Les Grenadiers (The Grenadiers) Le Rouge et Bleu (The Red and Blue) Les Bicolores (The Bicolor) La Sélection Nationale (The National Selection)
Coach Name: Sébastien Migné (since 2024)
FIFA Rank: 83
Best World Cup Performance: Group stage elimination in 1974 (0-0-3)
How did they qualify? - Won CONCACAF Group C (3-2-1 record)
The league where most of the team plays in: French Ligue 1 (3 players), with 2 more in Ligue 2
Base Camp: Sheraton Atlantic City Convention Center Hotel, Atlantic City, New Jersey and Stockton University
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Applebee’s right across Baltic Ave.
National dish: griot (pork shoulder marinated in citrus, then fried), soup joumou (soup made with squash, beef, and vegetables)
One Sickos Thing: Their coach has never set foot in Haiti. “It’s impossible because it’s too dangerous,” he told France Football magazine. “I usually live in the countries where I work, but I can’t here. There are no more international flights landing there.” Uhhh yeah… I guess that’s understandable…
Scotland
Oldest Player: GK Craig Gordon, 43 (83 caps) (Still not as old as Commish)(Heyyyy)
Youngest Player: Tyler Fletcher, 19 (1 cap) just called up due to injury
Best Name on the Team: GK Angus Gunn has a name made in a lab to be a 5-star Texas high school quarterback prospect but Lawrence Shankland is strong.
Team Nickname: None. Supporters are known as the Tartan Army
Coach Name: Steve Clarke (since 2019)
FIFA Rank: 43
Best World Cup Performance: Have never advanced out of the group stage. Best group stage record was in 1974 (1-2-0)
How did they qualify? Won UEFA Group C (4-1-1)
Best player: MF Scott McTominay
The league where most of the team plays in: English Premier League
Base Camp: Renaissance Charlotte SouthPark Hotel, Charlotte, North Carolina and Charlotte FC Training Center
Closest chain restaurant to base camp: Cheesecake Factory, 0.6 mi
National dish: Haggis - which is likely one of the only things not on the Cheesecake Factory’s 752 page menu
One Sickos Thing: Scotland doesn’t compete in the Olympic games at all since they are part of the United Kingdom.
Charlotte FC with Scotland as the base camp.
