Welcome to the Sickos Committee’s Weather, Travel & Football Master Almanac Network aka the SCWTFMAN.

Here at the SCWTFMAN we will attempt to forecast the upcoming 2024 college football season by using our Sickos Committee alert system. We’re going to do this in the Famer’s Almanac style. If you don’t know what a Farmers' Almanac is, basically it provides long-range weather predictions for both the U.S. and Canada. We will be applying our forecast to all of Division I in the United States. We’re trying to predict what the upcoming season holds for all Division I teams in college football using our Sickos Committee Weather Alert System.

First we will preview the 129 FCS teams in a conference by conference breakdown over the next coming weeks. Then we will get to the FBS.

Will these previews be long winded and incredibly in depth? No. 

Will these previews be mostly based on “vibes” as assessed by the Sickos Committee weather forecasters? Yes. 

Basically, we’re going to try to assess the team as a Sickos Warning, Watch or Advisory, give you their record last year, provide a little blurb about the team and for the FCS version to possibly advise you of any of their games against the FBS and interesting schedule tidbits. This year we’re also adding a conference specific thing.

For the UAC, we decided the conference sounded a little like a professional Soccer Club. So, we’re giving you the distance to the nearest Soccer Team with United or Athletic in it’s name.

The United Athletic Conference

Abilene Christian

Where: Abilene, TX 

Last Year's Record: 5–6 (3–3 UAC)

Why Should You Care: Head Coach Keith Patterson is in his 3rd season at the helm. His only other Head Coaching job was being the Interim Head Coach for Pitt in the 2011 BBVA Compass Bowl where they lost to June Jones’ SMU 28-6. This was in the middle of Pitt’s three year run of the BBVA Compass Bowl from 2010-2012.  

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - All their losses last year were to teams who finished with a better record than them. Maybe they can flip one or two of those? 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They have back to back games against Big Sky opponents. They travel to Greely to play Northern Colorado and then welcome Idaho to Texas the next week.  They finish the year at former conference mate Stephen F. Austin. 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 487 Miles to Albuquerque, NM for New Mexico United in the USL.  

Austin Peay

Where: Clarksville, TN

Last Year's Record: 9–3 (6–0 UAC), Defending UAC Champs

Why Should You Care:  With a nickname like the Governors, what’s not to love… well unless you hate your current Governor. They are coached by Scotty Walden. He was named the Interim Head Coach at Southern Miss in 2020 in Week 2, went 1-3, then he left Southern Miss after four games since he got the Austin Peay job. 

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - They look to contend for the conference title again. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They play on the Purple and Grey turf against Central Arkansas, travel to St. George, UT to face Utah Tech on October 19th and finish their year home against Chattanooga, the team who knocked them out of the FCS playoffs last year. 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 294 Miles to Atlanta, GA for Atlanta United in MLS. 

Central Arkansas

Where: Conway, AR

Last Year's Record:  7–4 (4–2 UAC)

Why Should You Care: PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! (an old pic)

Sickos Forecast:  Warning - PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! Also, they got a Hail Mary win on the PURPLE AND GREY TURF last year. Maybe they can get a conference title on the PURPLE AND GREY TURF!!???

Potential Sickos Game(s): At Lindenwood, at Arkansas-Pine Bluff and at Utah Tech. They get Austin Peay on the PURPLE AND GREY TURF!! 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name:  541 miles to Atlanta, GA for Atlanta United in MLS.

Eastern Kentucky

Where: Richmond, KY

Last Year's Record: 5–6 (4–2 UAC)

Why Should You Care:  The Eastern Kentucky Colonels attempted to win a 7 OT game against Bowling Green in 2022 by lateraling it to an Offensive Lineman in the 5th OT. That Lateral. They won in the 7th OT 59-57 anyway. They are still coached by Walt Wells and offensive coordinator Andy Richman, the masterminds of that play call that will live in Sickos infamy. Also, love the helmets.

Sickos Forecast:  Warning - Any time a team can finish below .500 and finish 2nd in conference is good for a Warning. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Eastern Kentucky goes to Western Kentucky. That makes us happy. 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 172 Miles to Dunbar, WV for West Virginia United in USL2. 

North Alabama

Where: Florence, AL 

Last Year's Record:  3–8 (1–5 UAC)

Why Should You Care: Their Head Coach is Brent Dearmon who was a QB at the following indoor/arena league teams, Evansville BlueCats, Tennessee Valley Vipers, and the San Angelo Stampede Express. He was the Head Coach of his Alma Mater, Bethel for one year, then bounced around as an offensive coordinator at Kansas, MTSU and FAU before this job.  

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - They moved up to FCS in 2018 and it’s been tough sledding but maybe they get some traction this year. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They play the kickoff game in the Cramton Bowl against SEMO and at Southern Utah in early November. 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 241 Miles to Atlanta, GA for Atlanta United in MLS.

Southern Utah

Where: Cedar City, UT

Last Year's Record: 6–5 (4–2 UAC)

Why Should You Care: Their nickname is the Thunderbirds. That’s all you need to know. Or maybe we can sell you a ThunderCougarFalconBird instead.

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - Middle of the pack in the UAC last year, could they make the leap? 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They play three teams that start with U to start the year. At Utah, at UTEP, home against UC-Davis. Then they go to Pocatello to face Idaho State. You could say Holt Arena is shaped like an upside down U.

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 206 Miles to Utah County, UT for Utah United in USL2. 

West Georgia Wolves

Where: Carrollton, GA

Last Year's Record: Moved up from DII to FCS this year! 

Why Should You Care: Moved up from DII to FCS this year! 1982 DIII National Champions. West Georgia is ineligible for the UAC title and FCS postseason play due to transition from NCAA Division II.

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - Let’s monitor them this season before we can place a forecast on them. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They play the Shorter Hawks… from DII and the always traveling road team from Lincoln (CA). 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 51 Miles to Atlanta, GA for Atlanta United in MLS.

Tarleton Texans

Where: Stephenville, TX

Last Year's Record: 8–3 (4–2 UAC)

Why Should You Care: They are coached by Todd Whitten. He has Grover Cleveland’ed the Tarleton Head Coaching job not once, not twice but THRICE in three non consecutive stints! In 1996 for one year, then from 2000-2004, then somehow Whitten returned in 2016 where he has been since. In 2020, Tarleton made the jump from DII to FCS and got their first win over New Mexico State (they were independent and only played 2 games in 2021) as an FCS team in a weird game played in February of 2021. 

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - The Texans seem primed for a UAC title run as their transition period is over now. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Two big games at Southern Utah and at Austin Peay could decide the conference title. 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name:  583 Miles to Albuquerque, NM for New Mexico United in the USL.  

Utah Tech Trailblazers

Where: St. George, UT

Last Year's Record: 2–9 (1–5 UAC)

Why Should You Care: Formerly known as Dixie State, they changed the University name in 2021 to Utah Tech. They fired their coach last year and hired Lance Anderson, a former linebacker in the mid 1990s at Idaho State. This is Anderson’s first shot as a Head Coach on any level. He does have title winning experience as the Running Backs coach for the Mobile Admirals of the Regional Football League in 1999. Also, that was the only season of the Regional Football League.   

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - This seems to be a rebuilding job but their transition period from DII to FCS is over now. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They welcome Montana State, a perennial FCS power to open their season…which is a tough one, at least it is at home. Their road slate is very tough, at UC Davis, at Eastern Kentucky and at Tarleton State. 

Distance to Pro Soccer Team with United or Athletic in the name: 257 Miles to Utah County, UT for Utah United in USL2.

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