Welcome to the Sickos Committee’s Weather, Travel & Football Master Almanac Network aka the SCWTFMAN.

Here at the SCWTFMAN we will attempt to forecast the upcoming 2024 college football season by using our Sickos Committee alert system. We’re going to do this in the Famer’s Almanac style. If you don’t know what a Farmers' Almanac is, basically it provides long-range weather predictions for both the U.S. and Canada. We will be applying our forecast to all of Division I in the United States. We’re trying to predict what the upcoming season holds for all Division I teams in college football using our Sickos Committee Weather Alert System.

First we will preview the 129 FCS teams in a conference by conference breakdown over the next coming weeks. Then we will get to the FBS.

Will these previews be long winded and incredibly in depth? No. 

Will these previews be mostly based on “vibes” as assessed by the Sickos Committee weather forecasters? Yes. 

Basically, we’re going to try to assess the team as a Sickos Warning, Watch or Advisory, give you their record last year, provide a little blurb about the team and for the FCS version to possibly advise you of any of their games against the FBS and interesting schedule tidbits. This year we’re also adding a conference specific thing.

We know there is a running theme about so many Ivy Leaguers becoming investment bankers so why not give you the distance to the Goldman Sachs headquarters for each team.

Ivy League

Brown

Where: Providence, RI

Last Year's Record:  5-5 (3-5 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: They went 5-5, alternating wins and losses across the entirety of the 2023 season. Perfect ups and downs. Plenty of Overtime games too!

Sickos Forecast:  Warning - Looks like they plan on continuing just as they did last year. Give us the unpredictable Brown Bears on ESPN+ all day long.

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Georgetown, September 21. No one walks into the field formerly known as Multisport and expects to come out with a win.

Conference Specific Thing: 185 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

Columbia

Where: New York, NY

Last Year's Record: 3-7 (1-6 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: After longtime coach Al Bagnoli retired just six weeks before the 2023 opener, Columbia went with an interim before hiring Jon Poppe to become the 22nd head coach of the program. Poppe had coached at Columbia earlier in his career before spending last year at D3 Union and leading them to the playoffs.

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - Looks, Columbia has always been at the bottom of the Ivy League. Will a new hire change this? 

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Wagner on October 12. The Lions take the ferry to Staten Island to take on the Seahawks. 

Conference Specific Thing: 12.9 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

Cornell

Where: Ithaca, NY

Last Year's Record:  3-7 (2-5 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: Cornell beat eventual Ivy co-champ Yale… and then lost almost every other game. They’re good for at least one wild ride a year. Also, who doesn’t love a bear that looks like it’s being held back from a fight by the letter C.

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - You’ll have to watch a lot of Cornell football to find that one wild ride.

Potential Sickos Game(s): vs. Columbia on November 23. Cornell has never lost to Columbia 4 times in a row since the series began in 1889. Is this the year? 

Conference Specific Thing: 222 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

Dartmouth

I searched for Dartmouth logo but accidentally typed in Dartmouth Logs. The search turned up Moosilauke Ravine Lodge which Dartmouth built in in 1938 to serve the nation’s competitive skiing competitions.

Where: Hanover, NH

Last Year's Record:  6-4 (5-2 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: After long time head coach Buddy Teevens passed away, interim-turned-permanent head coach Sammy McCorkle and the Big Green stepped up and won a share of the Ivy League. That’s a hell of a season for a team that was on such an emotional rollercoaster. 

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - the Big Green are playing great ball, and they could be on track for another share of the Ivy Title.

Potential Sickos Game(s): Homecoming vs. Harvard, Nov 2. TO HELL WITH HARVARD (can you tell the guy who went to Dartmouth wrote this?)

Conference Specific Thing: 268 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ.

Near present day lodge photo.

Harvard

Where: Cambridge, MA

Last Year's Record: 8-2 (5-2 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: Tim Murphy had been head coach at Harvard for 29 years, winning 10 titles in the process. This will be the first year Harvard has a new coach since 1994, before many of y’all were even born.

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - new coach Andrew Aurich has big shoes to fill.

Potential Sickos Game(s): 140th playing of The Game vs. Yale, November 23.

Conference Specific Thing: 213 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

Penn

Where: Philadelphia, PA

Last Year's Record: 6-4 (3-4 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: Penn is another team that’s good for a random upset here and there - last year, it was Ivy co-champ Yale, who they beat 27-17 on the road. Plus, they play at historic Franklin Field.

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - the middle of the Ivy League can get really chalky, and Penn is going to need some surprises to get out of there.

Potential Sickos Game(s): September 21 at Delaware. The Blue Hens are moving up to FBS soon, and the Quakers have a chance to remind them what they’re leaving. 

Conference Specific Thing: 102 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

Princeton

Where: Princeton, NJ

Last Year's Record: 5-5 (4-3 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: The Tigers just missed out on a share of the Ivy League title in 2023 but did beat co-champ Havard. 

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - Princeton should be in a good place to compete for a piece of the title in 2024.

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Mercer on October 12. Rare that the Ivies leave the northeast corridor. 

Conference Specific Thing: 54.2 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

Yale

Where: New Haven, CT

Last Year's Record: 7-3 (5-2 Ivy)

Why Should You Care: Yale was Ivy co-champ in 2024 and beat the other teams they shared the title with (Harvard and Dartmouth). But then lost games to Penn and Cornell. The Bulldogs feel like they had a solo championship snatched from under their grasp. Plus they play in the gigantic, old school Yale Bowl.

Sickos Forecast:  Warning - Yale is definitely in the race for the title again, but they have to get out of their own way to do it. Early season trips last year led to them sharing the championship.

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Holy Cross on September 21. This should be an absolute banger of an FCS game right out of the door this season. 

Conference Specific Thing: 80.1 miles to Goldman Sachs HQ

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