Welcome to the Sickos Committee’s Weather, Travel & Football Master Almanac Network aka the SCWTFMAN.

Here at the SCWTFMAN we will attempt to forecast the upcoming 2024 college football season by using our Sickos Committee alert system. We’re going to do this in the Famer’s Almanac style. If you don’t know what a Farmers' Almanac is, basically it provides long-range weather predictions for both the U.S. and Canada. We will be applying our forecast to all of Division I in the United States. We’re trying to predict what the upcoming season holds for all Division I teams in college football using our Sickos Committee Weather Alert System.

First we will preview the 129 FCS teams in a conference by conference breakdown over the next coming weeks. Then we will get to the FBS.

Will these previews be long winded and incredibly in depth? No. 

Will these previews be mostly based on “vibes” as assessed by the Sickos Committee weather forecasters? Yes. 

Basically, we’re going to try to assess the team as a Sickos Warning, Watch or Advisory, give you their record last year, provide a little blurb about the team and for the FCS version to possibly advise you of any of their games against the FBS and interesting schedule tidbits. This year we’re also adding a conference specific thing.

For this Alliance, we decided to find the biggest city on the southern most portion of the Ohio River Valley Basin. Time to know Guntersville, Alabama. It is located at the southernmost point of the Tennessee River on Lake Guntersville, formed by the Guntersville Dam (built by the Tennessee Valley Authority). Here it is in the red square.

Big South - Ohio Valley Conference Alliance

Charleston Southern

Where: Charleston, SC 

Last Year's Record: 4–7 (2–4 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: Their Head Coach is Gabe Giardina. He was a placekicker and holder for Alabama from 2000 to 2003. Is this the only former kicker/ current Head Coach at the Division I level? He was a Graduate Assistant for Alabama through the end of 2007, and he got to witness ULM upsetting Bama in person. (Substack ULM Mentioned) He is in his second year, and the Buccaneers seem to be on an upward trajectory now. 

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - The Buccaneers are looking for their first winning season since 2017, and they have an outside chance at six wins. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They open the season against The Citadel in the first ever Lowcountry Boil Bowl, where the winner gets a trophy full of piping hot seafood and corn. The non conference slate is rough besides that game. Against Furman, at Richmond, and they end the season at Florida State...Besides that, at least they get their hardest conference games at home. 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 453 miles away. 

Eastern Illinois

Where: Charleston, IL (Two different Charlestons in the conference??) 

Last Year's Record: 8–3 (4–2 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: Their Head coach, Chris Wilkerson, was a coach for the Chicago Maroons in DIII. Yes, the same Chicago Maroons who were in the Big Ten through 1939. Eastern Illinois has had some legendary QBs in its program history. Super Bowl Winner with the Saints, Sean Payton. Former Dallas Cowboys QB and CBS Commentator, “Ohhhh... ahhhhhhhh, I Don’t Know Jim,” - Tony Romo and the incredibly handsome Jimmy Garoppolo.

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - They fought for the Conference title last year and should be in the mix again. 

Potential Sickos Game(s):  They play nearly all of Illinois this year. At Illinois, at Illinois State and home against Western Illinois. Hurry, there is still time to add Northern Illinois and Southern Illinois on the schedule.  

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 444 miles away. 

Gardner-Webb

Where: Boiling Springs, NC 

Last Year's Record: 7–5 (5–1 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: These are your normal Bulldogs, these are the Runnin' Bulldogs. Also, it’s pretty cool they have a hyphen in the school’s name like some people’s last names. It’s funny too, because that’s the case here. The school name was changed to Gardner-Webb Junior College when Governor Oliver Max Gardner and his wife Fay Webb-Gardner made many contributions to the school and the Board of Trustees decided to name it after them. They play in Ernest W. Spangler Stadium, which was opened in 1969 (nice). 

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - They should be at the top of the conference again unless things go awry. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): In Week 3, they play at Charlotte and there is an outside chance of FCS over FBS here. 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 339 miles away.

Lindenwood Lions

Where: St. Charles, MO

Last Year's Record: 3–7 (1–5 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: They are in their transition to FCS from DII and I think this is their final year of that move. Their first two years of FCS were mirror images of 7-3 and 3-7. For some reason, I feel like 2Pac shouts out Lindenwood at the end of the song “California Love” … Lindenwood, always up to no good. I know it’s Inglewood, but still… They are coached by Jed Stugart who has won conference titles in the NAIA and DII levels. 

Sickos Forecast:  Warning - It’s their final year of the transition to FCS, and they’ve had wild variations in two years here, so we don't have a clue what to expect. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): October 26th they host Western Illinois after narrowly escaping with a win last year 43-40. 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 489 miles away. 

Southeast Missouri State

Where: Cape Girardeau, MO

Last Year's Record: 4–7 (3–3 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: This school goes by SEMO. They are proud of the direction and state. They want you to SEMO of their football team. Ok, I’ll stop because you’d stop reading, and I’d like you to SEMO the rest of the conference. They are in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, which sounds like a tropical port. The wiki for the city starts “For the Cape Girardeau meteorite of 1846, see Meteorite Fall. For ships named Cape Girardeau, see SS Cape Girardeau.” Also, shout out to Historic FORT D!

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - For the meteorite and for the season we will have to wait to SEMO. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They play in Week 0 at the Cramton Bowl vs North Alabama and then go all the way to Las Cruces to play New Mexico State. 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 360 miles away

Tennessee State

Where: Nashville, TN

Last Year's Record: 6–5 (2–4 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: Head Coach Eddie George in his 4th Season. The Heisman Winner has shown slight improvement each year. Last year they were the first HBCU to play at Notre Dame. Also, the Tigers play in Nissan Stadium, just like the Tennessee Titans team that Eddie George played professional football with. 

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - If they can get to .500 in conference, they have another shot at a winning season. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They start with Mississippi Valley State, then at North Dakota State, then to Memphis for the Southern Heritage Classic against Arkansas-Pine Bluff and then at their rival at Tennessee Tech. What an open to their season! 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama:  159 miles away. 

Tennessee Tech

Where: Cookeville, TN

Last Year's Record: 4–7 (2–4 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care:  According to their Wikipedia page, the school’s first ever football coach was named Loyal Duyck. Why the hell don’t we have a wikipedia page on Loyal Duyck???? I need to know more about Loyal Duyck now! I don’t want to write more of this preview, I just want to talk about Loyal Duyck! Loyal needs a statute immediately, I don’t care he went 2-1-4 in his only season. That’s right Loyal Duyck had FOUR TIES IN HIS ONLY SEASON AS TENNESSEE TECH HEAD COACH!! 

Sickos Forecast:  Warning - who knows what their season is going to go like because I am googling Loyal Duyck. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): at SEMO where I hope to SEMO of Loyal Duyck and at Western Illinois should be fun. 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 152 miles away

UT Martin

Where: Martin, TN

Last Year's Record: 8–3 (5–1 Big South–OVC)

Why Should You Care: They’ve won a share of the Conference title for three straight years. However, they have only made the FCS playoffs in one of those years. In 2022, the tiebreaker to determine an automatic conference bid ultimately then came down to a coin flip, which UT Martin lost. Last year, they lost to Gardner-Webb in a heartbreaker 38-34 to miss the FCS playoffs in 2023. 

Sickos Forecast:  Watch - The Skyhawks should be angry and hungry to win another Conference title but will the College Football Gods allow them to enter the FCS playoffs? 

Potential Sickos Game(s): This four game stretch will tell us a bunch, at Kennesaw State, home to Gardner-Webb for revenge, at Western Illinois, BYE Week and home to Eastern Illinois. 

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 248 miles away

Western Illinois 

Where: Macomb, IL

Last Year's Record: 0–11 (0–8 MVFC)

Why Should You Care:  They left the Missouri Valley Conference to join this Alliance. We don’t blame them. Having to play all the Dakotas and the other tough teams in the MVFC was incredibly difficult. They have lost 24 straight games, and we’re pulling for the Leathernecks to end this streak this year. Coach Joe Davis left Eastern Illinois to get his first Head Coaching shot here. LET’S GO NECKS! 

Sickos Forecast:  Advisory - We just want a win here, and we will bevel their logo when they do. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They host DII McKendree on September 28th. A chance for revenge at Lindenwood on October 26th after giving up a late lead to lose 43-40 last year.

Distance to the Southernmost Point of the Ohio River Valley Basin - Guntersville, Alabama: 614 miles away

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