Welcome to the Sickos Committee’s Weather, Travel & Football Master Almanac Network aka the SCWTFMAN.

Here at the SCWTFMAN we will attempt to forecast the upcoming 2024 college football season by using our Sickos Committee alert system. We’re going to do this in the Famer’s Almanac style. If you don’t know what a Farmers' Almanac is, basically it provides long-range weather predictions for both the U.S. and Canada. We will be applying our forecast to all of Division I in the United States. We’re trying to predict what the upcoming season holds for all Division I teams in college football using our Sickos Committee Weather Alert System.

Will these previews be long winded and incredibly in depth? No. 

Will these previews be mostly based on “vibes” as assessed by the Sickos Committee weather forecasters? Yes. 

Basically, we’re going to try to assess the team as a Sickos Warning, Watch or Advisory, give you their record last year, provide a little blurb about the team and interesting schedule tidbits. This year we’re also adding a conference specific thing.

For the BIGGEST CONFERENCE IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL, we’re going to give you the distance to the nearest WORLD’S LARGEST side of the road attraction! Now for some teams it could just be a big giant object to look at without the title WORLD’S LARGEST, so don’t yell at us too much.

THE SICKOS COMMITEE STORE IS BACK WITH OVER 50 ITEMS LIKE HATS, STICKERS, MAGNETS, SHIRTS, MUGS AND MORE!!!

THE BIG TEN

How about a Retro logo but with all the new teams??

Illinois

Last Year's Record: 5–7 (3–6 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 43rd

Anything New? The staff stays together for the most part but they do have some sweet new Red Grange themed uniforms. 

Sickos Forecast: Warning - They were a Big Ten West team and that’s basically an automatic warning. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Week 2 against Kansas and then Week 4 at Nebraska on a Friday NERBNOIS date. Against Northwestern in Wrigley!  

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 78.2 Miles to the World's Largest Golf Tee in Casey, IL. 

Indiana

Last Year's Record: 3–9 (1–8 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 34th

Anything New? New Head Coach Curt Cignetti from James Madison and all new staff. Along with 30 new players from the Transfer Portal. 

Sickos Forecast:. Watch - Indiana should make some improvement and possibly get to a Bowl game. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): at UCLA and at Northwestern in the PILL BOX temporary stadium. Of course the Old Oaken Bucket against Purdue. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” In State - 102 Miles to the World’s Largest Ball of Paint in Alexandria, IN. Out of State - World's Largest Golf Tee in Casey, IL is only 91.2 miles. 

Iowa

Last Year's Record: 10–4 (7–2 Big Ten), that Bowl game didn’t happen.

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 1st - BACK TO BACK SICKOS NATIONAL CHAMPIONS

Anything New? New Offensive Coordinator Tim Lester, the former Western Michigan Head Coach. NEW FRESHMAN PUNTER TOO!

Sickos Forecast: Warning - The Warning stays until seen otherwise, which really could happen this year… we hope. We really want another champion so we can do a food drive for another city! 

Potential Sickos Game(s): against Iowa State always is here, at Minnesota in the Invalid Fair Catch revenge game, vs Wisconsin and Nebraska. Also at Maryland could be interesting since their former Offensive Coordinator is an analyst there!

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 127 Miles to the World’s Largest Concrete Gnome in Ames, IA. NAMED ELWOOD. (UPDATE - Not on the map I used, there is the World’s Largest Wooden Nickel in Iowa City! : https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/worlds-largest-wood-nickel

Maryland

Last Year's Record: 8–5 (4–5 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 75th

Anything New? New Offensive Analyst but basically the same staff. QB MJ Morris transferred in from NC State.  

Sickos Forecast:. Warning - September Maryland, Watch - Maryland in other months

Potential Sickos Game(s): Open against UConn, at Virginia, at Minnesota and against Iowa for the reasoning we just mentioned

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 198 Miles to the World’s Largest Light Bulb at Edison State Park, NJ. or 181 Miles to Lucy the Elephant in Margate, NJ. 

Michigan

Last Year's Record: 15–0 (9–0 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 13th

Anything New? Basically a new coaching staff but they all have experience. They did get Wink Martindale from the NFL ranks to be their DC. Wink Martindale sounds like a game show host.  

Sickos Forecast: Advisory - Really nothing too crazy going on unless the NCAA drops more investigation information but on the field it should be fine. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): First five games at home with a big one against Texas but that’s likely not what we would call a Sickos game. At Washington and at Indiana where the Hoosiers keep it close for a few quarters and … (sorry Indiana fans, we love you)

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 184 miles to the World’s Largest Gavel in Columbus, OH

Michigan State

Last Year's Record: 4–8 (2–7 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 14th

Anything New? New Head Coach Jonathan Smith left his alma mater Oregon State to go to East Lansing. 

Sickos Forecast: Watch - They seem to have bottomed out due to off the field issues I won’t get into here but they could be unexpectedly feisty in a few games. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): At Maryland, at Boston College and at Illinois, then they host Rutgers to end the year and that’s a curious one. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:”208 Miles to the World’s Largest Ball of Paint in Alexandria, IN

Minnesota

Last Year's Record: 6–7 (3–6 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 11th

Anything New? New Co-DC Corey Hetherman from Rutgers joins the PJ Fleck staff. 

Sickos Forecast: Watch - Minnesota feels middle of the road Big Ten and likely sneaks into a bowl game. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): The first game against North Carolina could be interesting for many reasons. Rosedale against Iowa of course has to be listed here. At Illinois and at Rutgers could be some old fashioned Big Ten West style fun. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:”66.4 Miles to the World’s Largest Ball of Twine in Darwin, MN. Weird Al even wrote a song about it. 

Nebraska

Last Year's Record: 5–7 (3–6 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 2nd

Anything New? New Freshman QB in Five Star Dylan Raiola and a new Co-Offensive Coordinator Glenn Thomas

Sickos Forecast: Warning - The early schedule sets them up well for a potential great start but the end of the schedule sets up to be a rough one. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Home to Illinois on a Friday Night is always a weird one, after Ohio State, we don’t know what to expect from UCLA, at USC, Wisconsin and in Kinnick against Iowa to end the year. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 25.6 Miles to the World’s Largest Time Capsule in Seward, NE. 

Northwestern

Last Year's Record: 8–5 (5–4 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 10th

Anything New? A BRAND NEW TEMPORARY STADIUM ON LAKE MICHIGAN!!! THE PILL BOX!!! OR THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE WHERE’S THE PRESCRIPTION IS PAIN. Please someone punt or kick a ball in Lake Michigan, our account will explode.

Sickos Forecast:. Warning - Their home games are in a Temporary Stadium which was built in less than 65 days and the other two are in Wrigley Field. What’s not a Warning here? 

Potential Sickos Game(s): The four games at what they call Martin Stadium - Miami (OH), Duke, Eastern Illinois and Inidiana. Also, the game at Iowa, at Purdue. The Wrigley one against Iillinois should be good too since it is a rivalry game, no idea how that Ohio State one will go.  

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 82.1 Miles to a Giant Lady’s Leg Sundial in Lincoln Township, IN. Warning: this is in a Nudist Colony. 

Ohio State

Last Year's Record: 11–2 (8–1 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 53rd

Anything New? NEW OC CHIP KELLY!! They hope they upgraded their QB from Honda McCord to Will Howard. 

Sickos Forecast: Advisory - They will be good.

Potential Sickos Game(s): Don’t expect too many here but maybe at Northwestern just since it is at Wrigley 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” World’s Largest Gavel is in Columbus, OH but you could go 42.8 Miles to the World’s Largest Picnic Basket in Newark, OH. 

Oregon

Last Year's Record: 12–2 (8–1 Pac-12)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 55th

Anything New? NEW CONFERENCE, New QB Dillon Gabriel too. 

Sickos Forecast: Advisory - They will be good too. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Oregon State has an outside shot and if they are ranked #2 when they go to Purdue... 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 211 Miles to the World’s Largest Frying Pan in Long Beach, WA. 

Penn State

Last Year's Record: 10–3 (7–2 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 76th

Anything New? New OC - Andy Kotelnicki and new Co-DC former Indiana Coach Tom Allen

Sickos Forecast: Watch - Things could get sidetracked in the middle of the schedule but likely not. We will wait and see. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): at West Virginia to open, at USC and at Wisconsin right before the Ohio State game. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:”233 Miles to the World’s Largest Light Bulb at Edison State Park, NJ

Purdue

Last Year's Record: 4–8 (3–6 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 45th

Anything New? The staff returns however they lost a few in the transfer portal. 

Sickos Forecast: Watch - Purdue kept getting in their own way last year, will that happen again? Or can they sort a few more wins out? 

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Oregon State, home against Nebraska, at Wisconsin, at Illinois, home to Oregon will tell us a ton for this year. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 60.8 Miles Giant Lady’s Leg Sundial in Lincoln Township, IN. Warning: this is in a Nudist Colony. 

Rutgers

Last Year's Record: 7–6 (3–6 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 22nd

Anything New? Seemingly stability in Piscataway

Sickos Forecast: Warning - Scarlet lights for the Scarlet Knights are always bright with the Committee

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Virginia Tech is intriguing, home to Washington, at Nebraska, AT USC FOR AN 11 PM EASTERN KICK ON A FRIDAY

Nearest “World’s Largest:” World’s Largest Light Bulb at Edison State Park, NJ is basically within 5 miles of campus. 

UCLA

Last Year's Record: 8–5 (4–5 Pac-12)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 74th

Anything New? New Conference, New Coach and coaching staff. 

Sickos Forecast: Warning - So much new and we don’t know what to expect. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): AT Hawaii to open the year, then home to Indiana and then AT LSU in the first three games! Then home to Oregon and then AT PENN STATE, oh Bruins, then home to Minnesota and then AT RUTGERS. Did we make this schedule??? 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 143 Miles to World's Largest Lemon in Lemon Valley, CA. 

USC

Last Year's Record: 8–5 (5–4 Pac-12)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 9th

Anything New? New Conference and they have two new Co-DC’s after they got rid of Alex Grinch (who is at Wisconsin now) 

Sickos Forecast: Warning - Lincoln Riley’s first year was pretty good and last year was disappointing

Potential Sickos Game(s): vs LSU to open in Las Vegas in that Sunday Night helmet game where everyone seems to overreact to the outcome. At Michigan, at Maryland and home against Rutgers at FOR AN 11 PM EASTERN KICK ON A FRIDAY

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 134 Miles to World's Largest Lemon in Lemon Valley, CA. 

Washington

Last Year's Record: 14–1 (9–0 Pac–12)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 47th

Anything New? New Conference and new Coach Jedd Fisch. Also, I think 21 out of 22 new starters. 

Sickos Forecast: Warning - So much new and we don’t know what to expect. Also, they nearly won a National Title and now it’s a rebuild? Or is it?

Potential Sickos Game(s): at Rutgers, at Iowa, at Indiana, at Penn State, get those frequent flier miles.  

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 149 Miles to the World's Largest Spruce Tree in Quinault, WA

Wisconsin

Last Year's Record: 7–6 (5–4 Big Ten)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 35th

Anything New? New Co-DC Alex Grinch from USC! Also, new Transfer QB from Miami, Tyler Van Dyke. 

Sickos Forecast: Watch - We still need to know how this offense some are calling the Dairy Raid will work out. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): They welcome Alabama in Week 3??? At USC, at Northwestern in the Temporary Stadium and at Rutgers and at Iowa. 

Nearest “World’s Largest:” 210 Miles to the World’s Largest Penny in Woodruff, WI

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