Welcome to the Sickos Committee’s Weather, Travel & Football Master Almanac Network aka the SCWTFMAN.

Here at the SCWTFMAN we will attempt to forecast the upcoming 2024 college football season by using our Sickos Committee alert system. We’re going to do this in the Famer’s Almanac style. If you don’t know what a Farmers' Almanac is, basically it provides long-range weather predictions for both the U.S. and Canada. We will be applying our forecast to all of Division I in the United States. We’re trying to predict what the upcoming season holds for all Division I teams in college football using our Sickos Committee Weather Alert System.

Will these previews be long winded and incredibly in depth? No. 

Will these previews be mostly based on “vibes” as assessed by the Sickos Committee weather forecasters? Yes. 

Basically, we’re going to try to assess the team as a Sickos Warning, Watch or Advisory, give you their record last year, provide a little blurb about the team and interesting schedule tidbits. This year we’re also adding a conference specific thing.

For the SEC, we tried to find court cases with the other SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) for alumni associated with a school in the SEC. Honestly, it was taking way too long and we found over half the conference with cases but hey the season is coming so we had to get this one out. But maybe, we will post that information later.

So instead, we called an audible and decided to give you the distance to the most southeastern point in the United States, the Card Sound Bridge in Key Largo, FL.

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The Southeastern Conference aka SEC

Did you know this was the SEC’s first logo and this is what the internet says? We can’t seem to verify it for sure but its so plain, so we beveled it.

Alabama

Last Year's Record: 12-2 (8-0 SEC) 

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 32nd

Anything New? Nick Saban retired, New Head Coach: Kalen DeBoer, New OC, New DC, new office too. Before and After below.

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - This is the inaugural season for coach Kalen DeBoer after his tenure as the head coach of the University of Washington. With the retirement of one of the greatest in Coach Saban, this will be a team to keep an eye on in 2024.

Potential Sickos Game(s): This season the Crimson Tide is heading to Wisconsin to play the Badgers in Camp Randall. With an improved Badgers and a first year head coach for BAMA, this may be a wild ride for both teams. Also, at Tennessee, at LSU, at Oklahoma and always the Iron Bowl vs Auburn.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 836 miles.

Arkansas - Embrace The Hog

Last Year's Record: 4-8 (1-7 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 28th

Anything New? This season the Razorbacks will welcome OC Bobby Petrino back to Fayetteville. #embracethehog

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - In 2023 the Razorbacks won a single SEC game, beating the Gators in Overtime. For 2024 with a renewed offense Arkansas is seeking to bounce back. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): For the first time since 1991, Texas and Arkansas will meet as conference foes. These old SWC foes will meet in November of this season. With the Razorbacks seeking to ruin the Longhorns season, this game may get out of hand. Also, at Oklahoma State and at Auburn are poised to be rather interesting.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,404 miles away.

Auburn

Last Year's Record: 6-7 (3-5 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 5th

Anything New? This season the Tigers will replace both coordinators. Derrick Nix for the Offense  and DJ Durkin & Charles Kelly. Along with second year coach Hugh Freeze, this coaching staff will need to work hard to improve Auburn’s record in 2024.  

Sickos Forecast: WARNING - The Tigers have a solid foundation to build on for 2024, now in the second year under Coach Hugh Freeze. Starting the season with 5 home games, the Cardiac Cats will certainly be a good watch. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): The final road game in the first stretch for Auburn is against new conference member Oklahoma. Seeking to make their mark on one of the SEC’s mainstays, the Sooners will find a hostile environment in Jordan-Hare. Home against Cal will likely be strange like last year. At Mizzou and at Kentucky could be very interesting to us in the Committee.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 688 miles.

Florida

Last Year's Record: 5-7 (3-5 SEC) 

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 25th

Anything New? Continuing their trend of having one of the largest coaching staffs, the Gators have two now co-coordinators. Russ Callaway is doing offense and Ron Roberts is coaching  defense. Florida has 4 co-coordinators on their staff. 

Sickos Forecast: WARNING - Coach Billy Napier is seeking his first winning season as head coach of the Fightin’ Florida Gators. With one of the hardest schedules in the Nation, this team will have an uphill battle this season. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): To start the season the University of Miami (FL) Hurricanes will visit the Gators. This game has all the makings of a wild outing: Rivalry, Week 1, National Spotlight. Then you get Texas A&M, at Mississippi State, UCF, Kentucky, Georgia, at Texas, LSU, Ole Miss and end at Florida State. Just the entire schedule except maybe Samford. Maybe.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 383 miles.

Georgia

Last Year's Record: 13-1 (8-0 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 48th

Anything New? Not much really but they have a new Co-DC in Travaris Robinson.

Sickos Forecast: ADVISORY - Georgia’s only loss was in the SEC Championship game in 2024 and is seeking to return to Atlanta for the 7th time in 8 seasons. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Tennessee will be visiting Sanford Stadium on November 16. UGA has dominated this rivalry the past seven meetings. In their final SEC game this season, both teams may be seeking a birth in the Championship Game. The three game stretch of at Texas, vs Florida and at Ole Miss could be interesting?

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 729 miles.

Kentucky

Last Year's Record: 7-6 (3-5 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 84th

Anything New? This season will bring the Wildcats a new Offensive Coordinator in Bush Hamdan. Along with new Transfer QB Brock Vandagriff, who has acclimated to Lexington quite well…what a meme.

Sickos Forecast: WARNING - The Blue and White will be playing UGA and Mississippi on the road in the first 5 weeks of the season and then at Florida, at Tennessee, and at Texas. This brutal schedule will test the Wildcats from the beginning to the end. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): The final game of the season will be against arch rival Louisville. The Cardinals have not won this game since 2017 and are seeking a big win under native son Coach Jeff Brohm. That game is always wild and Kentucky turns it up to another level in that game. Games against South Carolina, at Florida and home for Auburn could find our way on the weekly forecast.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,088 miles.

LSU

Last Year's Record: 10-3 (6-2 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 63th

Anything New? All three coordinators (two offensive and one defensive) have new faces in those roles. Coaches Joe Sloan, Cortez Hankton, and Blake Baker were all on staff but got promotions.  New QB Garrett Nussmeier (aka the NUSS BUS) gets his shot at QB after Heisman Winner Jayden Daniels moved on to the NFL.

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - Most Brian Kelly teams are competent and well coached. However, have they fixed the defense? Can they actually win an opening game for the first time since 2019?

Potential Sickos Game(s): This season the team has five rivalry games in a row, starting with Mississippi, Arkansas, Texas A&M, Alabama, and Florida. This stretch will be tough on the Tigers. Also, in Las Vegas vs USC could get wild.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: The most southeastern point in the United State is the Card Sound Bridge. LSU is 966 miles.

Mississippi State

Last Year's Record: 5-7 (1-7 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 66th

Anything New? Mississippi State will come into 2024 with a new head coach. Jeff Lebby is in his first season with a new staff, including defensive coordinator Coleman Hutzler.

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - Under a new coach in a tough conference the Bulldogs are going to be slated for a fight in every game. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Mississippi State is heading out to the desert early in the season to play Arizona State. This game has a late kickoff time. This game may get out of control. Florida at home could be a good measuring stick to see how the rest of the year goes cause the schedule gets harder because it is at Texas and at Georgia in back to back weeks with a bye mixed in, that could be rough…

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 918 miles.

Missouri

Last Year's Record: 11-2 (6-2 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 59th

Anything New? MIZZOU has a new defensive coordinator Corey Batoon for the 2024 season. The Coaching staff makes for a fantastic Law Firm name too.

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - The Tigers are facing a schedule where they have a wide variance in their opponents. Week to week could be

Potential Sickos Game(s): MIZZOU is heading to Amherst to play the UMASS Minutemen. This game will be the farthest that the team travels in the regular season. They play Boston College, home against Vandy, at Texas A&M and then the above mentioned UMASS game.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,385 miles.

Oklahoma

Last Year's Record: 10-3 (7-2 Big XII)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 95th

Anything New? NEW CONFERENCE. The Sooners have 4 coordinators and will be replacing three of them in 2024. Joe Jon Finley, Seth Littrell will be co-offensive coordinators. Zac Ailey will be the new co-defensive coordinator. 

Sickos Forecast: ADVISORY - Oklahoma will be in their first season in the SEC and has a schedule that takes them all over the region.  

Potential Sickos Game(s): The Sooners will host the Crimson Tide toward the end of the season. This game will be a major test for both teams. They have a really really difficult SEC draw.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,541 miles.

Ole Miss

Last Year's Record: 11-2 (6-2 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 117th

Anything New? This season Mississippi has a new defensive coordinator, Pete Golding. 

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - Mississippi comes into this season with lofty expectations and all the offensive firepower needed to reach them. Additionally, there is a game on the CW against Wake Forest. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Wake Forest in Winston-Salem, this game will be on the CW and will be one to watch. At South Carolina and at LSU could be intriguing.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,039 miles.

South Carolina

Last Year's Record: 5-7 (3-5 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 83rd

Anything New? This season the Gamecocks will play a new opponent, Old Dominion. This will be the first meeting of these two schools. 

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - The Gamecocks are looking to rebound after last season. With back to back road games at Alabama and Oklahoma, South Carolina has their work cut out for them.  

Potential Sickos Game(s): Texas A&M is visiting Columbia, SC and this game could be a fantastic game in November. At Vandy and home to Mizzou could go a long way towards Bowl Eligibility

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 679 miles.

Tennessee

Last Year's Record: 9-4 (4-4 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 88th

Anything New? The Volunteers will be starting a new QB in Nico Iamaleava.

Sickos Forecast: ADVISORY - Tennessee is retooling for the 2024 campaign and has all the pieces in place make a run in conference play. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Early this season the Vols are going to play in the Duke’s Mayo Classic against NC State. This early season matchup is a chance for some interesting football and a lot of MAYO. Tons of Mayo.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 922 miles.

Texas

Last Year's Record:  12-2 (8-1 Big XII)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 54th

Anything New? NEW CONFERENCE. Longhorns will have a new co-defensive coordinator in the 2024 season. Johnny Nansen will be joining the coaching staff in that role. 

Sickos Forecast: ADVISORY - Texas is joining the SEC and is coming in loaded and ready to contend for the title in their inaugural season. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Texas has an early test against the reigning National Champion Michigan Wolverines. This game will be an impact test for both schools and a good exhibition of what to expect for the season. Can we call the game against Texas A&M a Sickos Game? If so, yes just on the sheer internet reaction along it will be great.

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,391 miles.

Texas A&M

Last Year's Record: 7-6 (4-4 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 8th

Anything New? The Aggies have a new head coach, Mike Elko. He has brought a completely new coaching staff with him to College Station for 2024.

Sickos Forecast: WARNING - Texas A&M with a new coach and silent preparation for the season are poised to make some noise. Their season will be one to keep an eye on. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): The Aggies final game this season will be against the Texas Longhorns. A team they have not played since 2011. With this game being at Kyle Field, the Aggies have a chance to ruin the Longhorns’ season. 

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 1,328 miles.

Vanderbilt

Last Year's Record: 2-10 (0-8 SEC)

Final FBS Sickos Poll Ranking: 29th

Anything New? Vanderbilt will be playing with a new offensive coordinator, Tim Beck from New Mexico State. Also, new QB Diego Pavia, a transfer from New Mexico State. As an added bonus, Jerry Kill as an analyst, former Head Coach of New Mexico State. Hell, Vandy decided to add a ton from New Mexico State, so let’s just say they added red and green chiles to Nashville Hot Chicken? ALONG WITH A NEW STADIUM UPGRADE… still in progress…but more pieces complete.

Sickos Forecast: WATCH - Vanderbilt is still rebuilding under head coach Clark Lea. The team will be facing teams that are all out to keep them in the cellar of the conference. 

Potential Sickos Game(s): Vandy will play South Carolina in Nashville this season. This game will have implications for both teams, as they both may be seeking a bowl with this win. 

Distance to the most Southeastern Point: 957 miles.

Another old SEC logo for the hell of it cause it’s fun.

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