Week 5, and we’re still alive! We had some exciting moments last week during the games as well as some ahem interesting extracurricular activities during some player celebrations. Let’s see what happens this week. There’s a few interesting helmet matches on the docket. But if there’s anything we’ve learned at the Sickos Committee, it’s that sometimes the games you’d overlook are where things really start to get wild. That’s why we watch everything!

Former Big East rivals, these schools are meeting up once again. A nice clash up in New England and hopefully they enjoy a nice fall day now that the Nor’easter is moving back out to sea. The schools aren’t having the best season so far, as they each have two losses, but it’s still early enough for them to turn things around and make it to a bowl game. In the meantime, we’re going to pretend we’re at their tailgate.

I’ve done full entrees. I’ve done desserts. Now it’s time to make an appetizer. While stumbling around on the web, I learned about Syracuse salt potatoes. A quick and easy meal for salt miners, they would boil potatoes in a brine until they were nice and tender. So I figured, let’s use these as a “bun” for a lobster roll. This will be like when I made an “idaho hot dog” (hot dog inside a baked potato) over the off season. Something that you can easily whip up in less than an hour, and perfect for feeding a crowd.

If you know how to boil water, you know how to make salt potatoes. That’s what’s great about this recipe. You don’t have to make a ton of effort, nor do you have to spend a whole day in the kitchen like you would have had to do for last week’s cake.

Make sure you wash your potatoes to remove any dirt and grime. But don’t worry about peeling them, that’s unnecessary for today’s recipe. Let them drain in a colander while you fill a pot with a few inches of water. You’re going to want to add salt. Like, a lot of salt. More salt than you’re currently imagining, unless you read the ingredient list above. You want a half cup of salt per pound of potatoes. Stir the salt into the water until it is well dissolved in the water and you don’t see any visible salt at the bottom of your pot.

Add your potatoes to the pot, and add more water if necessary until the potatoes are covered and start to float. Crank up the heat on your stove until they start to boil, then reduce the heat and let them simmer for 15 minutes. After about 15 minutes,  test one potato to make sure it’s fork-tender but doesn’t immediately fall apart. If they end up overcooked, it’s not the end of the world. You’re just gonna be making mashed potatoes instead.

Anyway, after the potatoes are finished, drain the pot through a colander and add the potatoes back to the pot. Cover the pot with a lid to keep them warm and let them sit. A crust of salt will start to form on the outside of the potatoes. If you want to stop here, melt some butter and drizzle it over the potatoes before serving.

Do you know the difference between a Connecticut lobster roll and a Maine lobster roll? No, this isn’t a joke setup. But if you can build a joke off of that, be sure to let me know! The main difference is temperature. A Maine lobster roll is usually served cold, while a Connecticut roll is served warm. This warm filling will go great with the still-warm potatoes.

You might notice that I’ve been putting lobster in quotes. That’s because I live in Nebraska and I don’t have lobster money! So we’re going to cheat and use imitation crab. If you want to get a real lobster, be my guest! You’ll probably have an even better experience. I’m just going to make do with what I have access to.

The first thing you need to do is chop up your lobster (or crab) into smaller pieces. I went over the pieces with a knife a few times until I got a good rough chop. The biggest determinant of how small the pieces need to be is how big your potatoes are. You don’t want your filling to be larger than your “bun”!

Melt a half-stick of butter in a skillet, and add the meat. Stir to combine until all the “lobster” meat is covered in butter and warmed up. Stir in some thinly sliced green onions and let cook for another minute or two. Add some freshly ground black pepper, and you’re ready to assemble and serve!

Run a knife through your potatoes, and give them a gentle squeeze to open up. You don’t want the potatoes to split in half but you want to be able to add some “lobster” to the potato. Feel free to squeeze some fresh lemon juice over everything. The acid will bring a nice brightness to the whole thing. Don’t worry if it starts to look messy. Nobody has ever complained about too much lobster! Assemble these on a serving dish, grab a few, and enjoy.

As I asked on Instagram and Bluesky, how many potatoes are too many potatoes? Because these were great. I ate so many until I came down with a case of tummy hort. The potatoes are salty with just the right amount of bite, while the “lobster” is nice and buttery. Using small potatoes makes them the perfect size for snacking as you can easily pop one into your mouth. I can only imagine how this would be with actual lobster. If you try this, let me know what you think! I’m going to have to put this one at 4 out of 5 corns, with room for improvement with the “proper” ingredients.

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