The Corn Correspondent Goes to Minnesota

Hey, y’all! It’s the Corn Correspondent back from another trip through Big Ten Country. Though I guess these days, the entire United States (save for the Southeast) is Big Ten Country, so I could have gone anywhere. Well, to avoid any further guessing games, I’ll just let you know now that I was up in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and Saint Paul, Minnesota, for a fun Memorial Day weekend full of sports!

Let’s see what all I got up to, yeah?

I had to start my journey by driving through Iowa. Any good Iowan knows that a road trip through the state is vastly improved by Casey’s breakfast pizza. Their taco pizza is amazing too, but it was breakfast time, so duty called, and I needed to grab a slice of sausage and a slice of bacon. That should provide me enough sustenance to continue my arduous trek. The pizza was enough to last me until I reached Des Moines and turned off I-80 and onto I-35. I remembered that Iowa is famous for a certain sandwich that is right up the Sickos alley, so I made a quick detour to Marshalltown for a Maid-Rite! For those unaware, it’s basically a sauceless Sloppy Joe. A loose-meat sandwich is mustard, pickles, and onions (cheese optional). This was such a polarizing thing on Bluesky….there was a mix of nostalgia and a mix of pure disgust. I guess you had to be there!

The main reason for coming to Minnesota was to support the Minnesota Aurora, a women’s soccer team that plays in the USL W League. We in the Sickos Committee are a part of the community ownership group, and I wanted to be there for their home opener of the 2024 season! Wes, one of the team founders, owns Black Hart of Saint Paul. Naturally, after checking into my hotel, I wanted to pay a visit for some pre-game activities. The bar is a great hangout! A combination gay bar and soccer bar with a great patio and an unmissable mural of Megan Rapinoe on the outside. If you’re like me, you’ll be happy to know that they have Malört too! Although, the bartender responded with “red flag” when I ordered one. Some people are haters, I guess.

After a couple of pre-game drinks, it was time to head over to the pitch. Minnesota Aurora plays at the Vikings practice field, which was pretty neat in itself. As I was getting my media credentials, I was asked if I planned on going down to the field. “I don’t know... can I?” I replied back, not even knowing that was an option. So they gave me a Hi-Vis safety vest and sent me on my way. It wasn’t long before I found the one place I wasn’t allowed to be, behind the benches, which was a little embarrassing, but otherwise I got to roam around and watch the action. It was a great game, and a great opportunity, capped off with a 2-0 win by Aurora FC!

One of the concession areas was selling grilled corn. Being the Corn Correspondent, I felt it was my duty to get an ear, and let me tell you that it was delicious!

After the match, they had an “autograph alley” for fans to get merch signed by the athletes. I bought myself a gorgeous green kit and got some autographs too. I wasn’t able to get all the athletes to sign, sadly. Furthermore, I talked to Andrea, another of the team founders, about it, and she said she would get the missing signatures for me. That was so nice of her!

The next day, I decided to continue my sports weekend by meeting up with Andrew, our rugby correspondent, and visiting the Saint Paul Saints, a local minor league team. Sickos fans might remember them for the Land of 10,000 Calories, the 6-foot hot dog topped with pulled pork, mac and cheese, jalapeno poppers, etc. The meal came with 4 drinks, and there were only two of us, so I opted out of ordering the behemoth. Also, it would have been a 45-minute wait. So I settled for a footlong dog topped with brisket, gravy, and potatoes instead. It was still a lot to eat!

Saturday, I didn’t have much planned, so I decided to take a Bluesky recommendation and visit Marty’s Deli. I got there, and the line was out the door, so I knew it had to be good. I met a Sickos fan who was standing in front of me in line. We chatted for a while, and I gave him a sticker. (Sorry, I didn’t catch your name, but if you’re reading this... hi!) Did you know that Marty’s Deli has the #1 Notary in Northeast Minneapolis? I didn’t until I got inside! Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything I needed to be notarized. I guess that’s okay, though, because Marty’s dad is only there on Thursday mornings anyway. But the Lefty sandwich I got was divine. A spicy chicken cutlet, broccoli rabe, and piedmontese aioli... I could go for another one right now…

Saturday evening rolled around, and I didn’t have anything planned. I saw that The Frost were playing in the PWHL championship. I grabbed a ticket on Seatgeek and headed down towards the arena. There was a pregame party outside the stadium, so I grabbed a drink, chatted with folks, and made a sign for the game. I met up with some more Sickos fans at the game and passed out stickers. Amy Klobuchar was there, but she was not interested in a sticker, or at least her media team didn’t relay my message to her. That’s fine; I’m not bitter.

You know that Jon Bois tweet about playoff hockey?

Imagine that for THREE OVERTIMES! I wasn’t a diehard fan of either of the teams, but even I was feeling anxiety during the game. I couldn’t imagine having a vested interest in the winner. Glad to see the Frost pulled it off, though; you might have converted me into your fandom!

Bluesky user Alicia gave me a free ticket to Minnesota United FC the same night. I had originally planned on going after the hockey game, but the aforementioned overtimes got in the way of that plan. I still appreciate the offer! Maybe next time!

All in all, it was a great weekend. I highly recommend any reader take an adventure to a nearby city and watch some games if you have the opportunity.

Author’s note: Not to toot my own horn, but while I was up there, Aurora FC won, the Saint Paul Saints won, Minnesota Frost won, the Minnesota Twins won, the Minnesota Timberwolves won, and Minnesota United FC ended in a draw. So, if you want your team to win... or at least not lose, call me and invite me to your city.

My allegiance and my powers are available for purchase!