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We’re less than four weeks away from the college football season starting. It’s a fun sentence to type, but this makes me realize we needed to do some conference previews. This year we’re a bit limited on time due to various circumstances, but we wanted to do something fun for FCS and FBS conference previews. In previous years we’ve given you many fun facts about long snappers, punters, and #69s. We’ve tried to predict what level a team would be on the Sickos Weather System scale for the entire year based on vibes. This year, I wanted to try something different.
So for the previews, we’re going to do something fun like we always do. We’re going to give you a random school football statistical record, the birthday of the football team, by using the first-ever game in program history and then going to give you the team’s horoscope based on that birth date, which we just made up.
Will these previews help you get ready for the season? Of course they will!
What’s better than learning random facts about teams and then pairing it with a horoscope based on a made-up birthday we just created? Actually breaking down stats and transfers, recruiting metrics, coaching skills, schemes, and schedules? What? That’s crazy. Who does that? 😉
WELCOME TO THE 2026-27 SICKOS FOOTBALL FORTUNES: THE STARS PREDICT YOUR SEASONS.
The NEC
Central Connecticut State:
Birthdate: November 9, 1935 vs Montclair State
Random School Record: Most Fumble Recoveries in a single Game - 4, Ted Orzech 11/16/54
Horoscope for the Year: You will feel happy with yourself and overflow with healthy self-esteem. Your desires and emotions will be in complete harmony, and you will use your impulses and passions for achieving positive results.
Shout out to Central Connecticut State for having our first viral tweet based on a Three Yard Punt in 2021. Here is better quality of a video compared to Commish recording with his phone. I like to think this is where the account began gaining traction and I will never forget this play. Aidan Clark was a freshman in this clip and he had an impressive career including a long punt of 84 yards in 2024. I think he’s a punting and kicking coach now.
Duquesne
Birthdate: Oct 6, 1893 vs Hazelwood 18-0 W (first team in 1891 3-1 unconfirmed record)
Random School Football Record: Longest Punt in School History 73 yards by Joe Maker at Saint Peter’s 2000
Horoscope: Expect surprises and unexpected changes in your plans. You may also choose to change your direction. Your superiors may behave illogically. You may be nervous and restless. There is a risk of injury.
LIU
Birthdate: November 10, 1928 vs Buffalo
Random School Football Record: Most Team Rushes in a Game - 76 against Hofstra in 1989
Horoscope: You will feel satisfied with your life. Any tension in relationships is likely to disappear and you will be able to focus on maintaining peace. You will also benefit from a walk in a place where you feel relaxed and comfortable.
Mercyhurst
Birthdate: Sept 5, 1981 vs St John Fisher 28-0 W
Random School Football Record: Team Record Prior to FCS 202-222
Horoscope: You will have to deal with unexpected changes in your schedule. Avoid being overly temperamental and indecisive, because it can lower your popularity and cause bad business decisions. You may feel lonely and stressed out. Therefore, it is not a good time for any new beginnings.
New Haven
Birthdate: October 3, 1970 vs New York Tech
Random School Football Record: Most Fumble Recoveries in a Career - 9 - Rick Racioppoi 1981-1984 (have no clue how to pronounce that)
Horoscope: Be careful not to have overly high expectations and do not overestimate your capabilities. This transit indicates overspending, excessive optimism and extravagance, so it is important to focus on moderation.
Robert Morris
Birthdate: September 3, 1994 at Waynesburg 24-19 W (went 7-1-1 in their first season)
Random School Football Record: Longest Punt Return - 88 Yards - Antwan Eddie vs VMI 9/28/13
Horoscope: Your mind is working at full speed. You will therefore tend to draw conclusions without knowing all the facts. Try to slow down and think carefully first. But it will be challenging for you now, because you will lack patience.
Stonehill
Birthdate: October 4, 1970 vs Worcester State
Random School Football Record: Most Rushing Yards as a Team in a Single Game - 376 vs. Pace, 10/15/11
Horoscope: Be careful not to have overly high expectations and do not overestimate your capabilities. This transit indicates overspending, excessive optimism and extravagance, so it is important to focus on moderation. (crazy how Stonehill’s Birthday is nearly the same as New Haven’s)
Wagner
Birthdate: September 27, 1930 vs Connecticut JV
Random School Football Record: Most Single Season Passing Yards - John Sciarra (2005) 3321 yards, Most Total Offense Passing + Rushing - John Sciarra (2005) 3302 yards. (yes he was -19 yards rushing on the year)
Horoscope: You will have to deal with unexpected changes in your schedule. Avoid being overly temperamental and indecisive, because it can lower your popularity and cause bad business decisions. You may feel lonely and stressed out. Therefore, it is not a good time for any new beginnings.
The Patriot League
Bucknell
Birthdate: November 30, 1883 (As University of Lewisburg) vs Lafayette 59-0 L
Random School Football Record: Most tackles in a season by a freshman - John Spatafore, 100, 199
Horoscope: You will be full of energy. Your self-expression will improve, and your confidence will increase. You may also be awarded for something.
Colgate
Birthdate: November 8, 1890 vs Hamilton
Random School Football Record: Most penalty first downs in a season - 23, 2003
Horoscope: Your concentration will improve, and you will be driven by your desire for power.
Fordham
Birthdate: December 3, 1885 vs Seton Hall
Random School Football Record: Most completions in a game - 43, John Skelton vs Holy Cross, 10/31/2009
Horoscope: You’re more sensitive to disorganization or tension at work, so small improvements will go a long way. If stress arises, take breaks and don’t expect perfection.
Georgetown
Birthdate: November 23, 1881 vs Alexandria High School
Random School Football Record: Longest interception return - 99 yards, Matt Barbiasz, 10/2/04 vs Bucknell
Horoscope: You may get stressed and agitated. You may also deal with problems without thinking first. It is advisable to avoid any changes and starting new things.
Holy Cross
Birthdate: October 31, 1891 vs Worcester Tech
Random School Football Record: Most PATs in a game - 9, Scott Kania, 1987 vs Lehigh
Horoscope: You may have to deal with problems related to your plans and goals. The sun will uncover any mistakes that you made, and you will have the chance to reconsider your decisions and make changes.
Lafayette
Birthdate: November 7, 1882 vs Rutgers
Random School Football Record: Longest run from scrimmage - 102 yards, George McCaa, 1909 vs Swarthmore
Horoscope: During this transit you will maintain positive thinking in all situations. You will be very giving and do good deeds. You will give others the impression that you are generous and wise.
Lehigh
Birthdate: October 25, 1884 vs Lafayette
Random School Football Record: Largest margin of victory - 106, 106-0. 1889 vs Penn State
Horoscope: You will feel the need for excitement, and you will have the energy and desire to overcome obstacles. However, you might throw yourself into things without thinking about the consequences.
Lehigh-Lafayette Rivalry - THE RIVALRY
Richmond
Birthdate: December 3, 1881 vs Randolph-Macon
Random School Football Record: Most consecutive extra points made - 121, Andrew Howard, 2006-2008
Horoscope: This transit is favorable for trips, any type of learning and education, writing, and relationships with the public and lawyers. Your mind is overflowing with optimism. You may be promoted at work or you may receive an interesting offer.
Villanova
Birthdate: November 22, 1894 vs Logan Athletic Association
Random School Football Record: Most Yankee Conference Honor Roll appearances - 6, Tom Colombo
Horoscope: You may come across obstructions when you want to implement your plans. You will struggle with obstacles, constraints and slow progress, which will make you feel frustrated.
William & Mary
Birthdate: November 11, 1893 vs Norfolk YMCA
Random School Football Record: Most career pass breakups - 45, Ryan Poole, 2018-23
Horoscope: Your perception and reality will come into conflict. You may feel overly self-confident. Your enthusiasm can degenerate into disappointment. This may make you feel pessimistic and helpless.
Well this is the first round of these and I hope you enjoyed them but understand if some of you didn’t like your horoscopes… I am sorry, I consulted the stars and you can chose to believe in the stars or not.
It was fun for me to see horoscopes but through the lens of football terms in my head.
Here’s the only NON ai ad we get on this platform below. Please click the link and help us get a little kickback to keep the committee going and have me do more conferences!
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