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We’re less than a week away from the college football season starting. It’s a fun sentence to type, but this makes me realize we needed to do some conference previews. This year we’re a bit limited on time due to various circumstances, but we wanted to do something fun for FCS and FBS conference previews. In previous years we’ve given you many fun facts about long snappers, punters, and #69s. We’ve tried to predict what level a team would be on the Sickos Weather System scale for the entire year based on vibes. This year, I wanted to try something different.
So for the previews, we’re going to do something fun like we always do. We’re going to give you a random school football statistical record, the birthday of the football team, by using the first-ever game in program history and then going to give you the team’s horoscope based on that birth date, which we just made up.
Will these previews help you get ready for the season? Of course they will!
What’s better than learning random facts about teams and then pairing it with a horoscope based on a made-up birthday we just created? Actually breaking down stats and transfers, recruiting metrics, coaching skills, schemes, and schedules? What? That’s crazy. Who does that? 😉
WELCOME TO THE 2026-27 SICKOS FOOTBALL FORTUNES: THE STARS PREDICT YOUR SEASONS.
FBS Independents
Notre Dame
Birthdate: November 3, 1887 vs. the University of Michigan in Notre Dame, IN. 8-0 loss
Random School Football Record: Most Passing yards in a Game 526, Joe Theismann (33 of 58) vs. USC, 1970
Horoscope: You will feel the need for excitement, and you will have the energy and desire to overcome obstacles. However, you might throw yourself into things without thinking about the consequences. You will be passionate in all areas of life, sometimes until reaching your limits. Try to approach these situations with more caution in order to avoid getting into unpleasant situations or even endangering your health.
UConn
Birthdate: October 3, 1896 at Rockville High School in Rockville, CT. 16-6 win (as Storrs Agricultural College aka SAC)
Random School Football Record: Most CONSECUTIVE PATS MADE - 49 Chris Freeman, 2024
Horoscope: You are more responsive to the surrounding influences. Therefore, you will rather seek escape into the world of fantasy and break out of routine. It is better to leave important decisions for later because you may be disillusioned and have biased feelings. You will also be very tired and will not want to do anything.
WELCOME TO THE RENT, JASON CANDLE
Mountain West
Air Force:
Birthdate: October 8, 1955 at Denver University freshmen in Denver, CO (DU Stadium). 34-18 win
Random School Football Record: Most punt returns in a game - 8, Tim McAteer, 1965 vs UCLA
Horoscope: You may get stressed and agitated. You may also deal with problems without thinking first. During this short period of time there is a risk that you will not be as popular as usual. Try not to take it too personally. It is advisable to avoid any changes and starting new things. There may also be unexpected changes to your routine.
Hawai’i
Birthdate: October 23, 1909 vs. McKinley High School in Honolulu, HI Territory (Alexander Field). 6-5 win
Random School Football Record: Most passing yards in a half - 424, Bryant Moniz, 9/24/2011 vs UC Davis
Horoscope: You will be full of energy. Your self-expression will improve, and your confidence will increase. You may also be awarded for something.
Nevada
Birthdate: October 24, 1896 vs. Wadsworth Athletic Club in Reno, NV (Evans Field). 30-0 win
Random School Football Record: Most career tackles for loss - 63, Dontay Moch, 2007-10
Horoscope: This month, the Sun shines directly on you. It's a natural fresh start—a time when you’re called to step forward with clarity, courage, and presence. Your identity, your self-expression, your vitality—all come into focus. Others are more likely to notice you, and you may feel a renewed sense of confidence and drive.
This has to be the widest N on a helmet ever. Bring it back Nevada. GIVE US THE WIDE N!
New Mexico
Birthdate: October 7, 1892 at Albuquerque High School in Albuquerque, NM Territory. 5-0 loss
Random School Football Record: Most points in a game - 108, vs Northern Arizona, 108-0, 11/11/1916
Horoscope: It’s a time to reconnect with what truly supports you—financially, emotionally, and physically. You may find yourself reassessing your budget, streamlining your expenses, or setting new income goals. It’s also an excellent moment to reflect on what you truly value—not just in terms of possessions, but in terms of how you spend your energy and what you believe you deserve.
North Dakota State
Birthdate: November 3, 1894 at the University of North Dakota in Grand Forks, ND. 24-6 win
Random School Football Record: Most punt return TDs in a season - 3, Richard Lewis, 2000
Horoscope: You approach life seriously and you get on better with older people, be it with your parents, your boss or somebody else. You may start a new project that requires diligence and time.
Northern Illinois
Birthdate: November 10, 1899 vs. DeKalb High School in DeKalb, IL. 16-10 win
Random School Football Record: Fewest yards per rush allowed in a game - -0.3, 10/20/2006 vs Temple
Horoscope: Let this month be a celebration of your presence in the world. Step forward—not with pressure, but with purpose.
Why did I put a topographic map of Illinois in here? Why for NIU being in the Mountain West. Elevation 883ft (269m) nice.
San Jose State
Birthdate: February 11, 1893 vs. San Jose YMCA in San Jose, CA (Recreation Park). 4-0 win
Random School Football Record: Most 60+ yard punts in a game - 3, Joe Furlow, 8/31/1996 vs Air Force
Horoscope: It is now worthwhile to have courage. You will be more proactive, and you can achieve a lot. You are full of energy and self-esteem, so don't worry about even the biggest challenges. You may play a leading role in your work or personal life. This transit is good for physical activity, so it is good to get rid of your excessive energy doing some sport activity.
UNLV
Birthdate: September 14, 1968 vs. Saint Mary’s College of California in Las Vegas, NV (Cashman Field). 27-20 win
Random School Football Record: Most third quarter points in a game - 30, 1974 vs Santa Clara
Horoscope: You will feel very strong and energetic mentally. However, you will also be impatient with people who are unable to keep up with you and your thoughts. So, try to be more patient. You will be very productive, and you will be able to quickly evaluate all situations and turn your plans into action.
UTEP
Birthdate: October 24, 1914 vs. YMCA in El Paso, TX. 7-6 win
Random School Football Record: Most pass breakups in a season - 14, Darius Ellison, 1998
Horoscope: If you are normally a very realistic person, this transit will broaden your horizons and take you to a fantasy world. You will have innovative and unusual ideas, ideals and dreams. You will be attracted by people who share your values and you may organize a community event together. You will attend plenty of social events and activities and you will have enough energy to meet up with your friends.
Wyoming
Birthdate: February 22, 1894 vs. Cheyenne High School in Laramie, WY. 14-0 win
Random School Football Record: Lowest yards allowed per punt return in a season - 4.6, 2016
Horoscope: With the Sun at the top of your chart, your public life, career, and legacy take center stage. This is a time to show up, take ownership, and shine in the eyes of the world. If you’ve been working toward something, recognition may finally arrive—or a new opportunity may invite you to level up.
Pac 12
Boise State
Birthdate: October 12, 1933 vs. St. Joseph’s Catholic School in Boise, ID (Public School Field). 6-0 loss (as Boise Junior College)
Random School Football Record: Highest yards per carry in a game - 10.3, 11/8/2014 vs New Mexico
Horoscope: You will feel happy with yourself and overflow with healthy self-esteem. Your desires and emotions will be in complete harmony, and you will use your impulses and passions for achieving positive results. Relationships with others will be marked by honesty and appreciation of the real You. You will also be more independent and willing to take initiative.
We bought some pieces of the Boise State turf and cannot wait for it to come in.
Colorado State
Birthdate: January 7, 1893 at Longmont Academy in Longmont, CO. 12-8 loss (as Colorado Agricultural College)
Random School Football Record: Most tackles for loss in a game - 6, Mike Bell, 11/19/1977 vs Arizona State
Horoscope: Discovering new things, new experiences and adventures - that is exactly what you will crave. This transit provides an ideal opportunity to broaden your horizons and explore foreign countries, whether it means traveling, reading travelogues, trying new exotic food or going to a cultural festival. Your daily life may seem boring to you now and you will feel the need to change it. Throw yourself spontaneously into new activities, learn something new, and have fun!
Fresno State
Birthdate: October 15, 1921 at the College of the Pacific (now the University of the Pacific) in San Jose, CA. 35-0 loss (as Fresno State Normal School)
Random School Football Record: Most passing first downs in a game - 23, 2020 vs Nevada
Horoscope: You will approach matters with determination, and you will be determined to accomplish your goals. During this transit you do not take no for an answer. You will also tend to eliminate everything that no longer serves its purpose from your point of view - be it a mess on the table or personal characteristics. It is one of the manifestations of your desire to keep things in your life under control and live your life meaningfully.
Oregon State
Birthdate: November 11, 1893 vs. Albany College (now Lewis & Clark College) in Corvallis, OR (OAC Field). 64-0 win (as Oregon Agricultural College)
Random School Football Record: Most rushing yards by a QB in a season - 630, Don Shanklin, 1994
Horoscope: You’re more sensitive to disorganization or tension at work, so small improvements will go a long way. If stress arises, take breaks and don’t expect perfection. Emotions may show up through the body—so listen carefully.
Benny the Beaver has many emotions
San Diego State
Birthdate: October 1, 1921 vs. Army-Navy Academy in Pacific Beach, CA (Academy Field). 6-0 win (as San Diego Normal School)
Random School Football Record: Most passes intercepted in a game - 4, Dick Adair, 10/15/1949 vs New Mexico State
Horoscope: Your schedule will be packed with events, which will be very satisfying. You will be more curious than usual and perceive life from a different perspective. You may use electronics for communication more frequently. You may feel more nervous than you usually do.
Texas State
Birthdate: September 15, 1951 vs. San Marcos AFB in San Marcos, TX (Evans Field). 54-0 win (as Southwest Texas State Teachers College)
Random School Football Record: Longest scoop and score - 82 yards, AJ Krawczyk, 9/8/2018 vs Texas Southern
Horoscope: This month turns the spotlight on your voice, your ideas, and your connections with the immediate world around you. The Sun in your 3rd house sharpens your curiosity and awakens your desire to learn, talk, write, and share. Be mindful, though: with so much mental stimulation, it’s easy to get scattered or distracted. Try to stay grounded in your priorities, and don’t overload your schedule.
Utah State
Birthdate: November 25, 1892 vs. the University of Utah in Logan, UT Territory. 12-0 win (as Utah Agricultural College) (the original UAC)
Random School Football Record: Fewest passing yards allowed in a game - 1, 1976 vs Colorado State
Horoscope: You may have to deal with problems related to your plans and goals. The sun will uncover any mistakes that you made, and you will have the chance to reconsider your decisions and make changes. Beware of relationships with your superiors and of your big ego.
Utah State always does awesome stuff with their uniforms and helmets. Incredible helmet here.
Washington State
Birthdate: November 18, 1894 at the University of Idaho in Moscow, ID. 10-0 win (as Washington Agricultural College) (the original WAC)
Random School Football Record: Most kick return yards in a game - 298, 9/6/2008 vs California
Horoscope: Use your ability to think logically and clearly during this transit. If you are facing problems that require concentration and discipline, it is a good time to begin solving them. Although these activities may not be too much fun, solving them will pay off in the long run. Other people may see you as reserved and quiet because you are too concentrated on practical issues.
I hope you enjoyed them but understand if some of you didn’t like your horoscopes… I am sorry, I consulted the stars and you can chose to believe in the stars or not.
It was fun for me to see horoscopes but through the lens of football terms in my head.
Also, if you’re curious what sign your program is on the astrology calendar, they are likely one of these five:
Virgo: August 23 – September 22
Libra: September 23 – October 22
Scorpio: October 23 – November 21
Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
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