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We’re less than two weeks away (I’m going to forget to change this in the middle of writing all of these and you will remind me) from the college football season starting. It’s a fun sentence to type, but this makes me realize we needed to do some conference previews. This year we’re a bit limited on time due to various circumstances, but we wanted to do something fun for FCS and FBS conference previews. In previous years we’ve given you many fun facts about long snappers, punters, and #69s. We’ve tried to predict what level a team would be on the Sickos Weather System scale for the entire year based on vibes. This year, I wanted to try something different.

So for the previews, we’re going to do something fun like we always do. We’re going to give you a random school football statistical record, the birthday of the football team, by using the first-ever game in program history and then going to give you the team’s horoscope based on that birth date, which we just made up.

Will these previews help you get ready for the season? Of course they will!

What’s better than learning random facts about teams and then pairing it with a horoscope based on a made-up birthday we just created? Actually breaking down stats and transfers, recruiting metrics, coaching skills, schemes, and schedules? What? That’s crazy. Who does that? 😉

WELCOME TO THE 2026-27 SICKOS FOOTBALL FORTUNES: THE STARS PREDICT YOUR SEASONS.

ACC

Boston College:

  • Birthdate: October 20, 1893 at St. John’s Literary Institute. 4-0 win

  • Random School Football Record: Most completions by a sophomore - 205, Phil Jurkovec, 2020

  • Horoscope: Be careful not to act impulsively and do things without thinking carefully first. It is not a good time to start something new and you may feel frustrated when you do not see the results of your work. Keep your head cool and wait until this stressful period passes knowing that you will feel better in a while.

Cal

  • Birthdate: January 16, 1886 vs. Wasps in Berkeley, CA (University Grounds). 20-2 win (School sources sometimes claim 1882 as the first season, but also say 1882-85 were rugby teams, not American football) (Also, I think this is the first team I have seen with a January birthday)

  • Random School Football Record: Most points in a game by a player - 36, Dick Dunn, 9/18/1922 vs Nevada

  • Horoscope: You will feel the desire for change and surprise. Positive and unexpected things may happen. You will seek new experiences and feel more spontaneous than usual. You will be bright and innovative, so try something new and experiment!

Clemson

  • Birthdate: October 31, 1896 at Furman University in Greenville, SC. 14-6 win (as Clemson Agricultural College)

  • Random School Football Record: Most consecutive games scoring a TD - 14, CJ Spiller, 2009

  • Horoscope: Expect surprises and unexpected changes in your plans. You may also choose to change your direction. Your superiors may behave illogically. You may be nervous and restless. Also, you will feel the need for excitement, and you will have the energy and desire to overcome obstacles. However, you might throw yourself into things without thinking about the consequences.

Duke - DEFENDING ACC CHAMPIONS

  • Birthdate: November 29, 1888 vs. the University of North Carolina in Raleigh, NC (Base Ball Park). 16-0 win (as Trinity College):

  • Random School Football Record: Most tackles in a game - 31, Dick Biddle, 1968 vs South Carolina

  • Horoscope: Honest and diligent effort will bring you results. You will be more patient and willing to wait for the fruits of your labor. In your work you will be methodical and strategic, and you will not make even the slightest mistakes.

Do you think James Madison fans love Duke for winning this game and getting them in the playoff?

Florida State

  • Birthdate: November 21, 1902 at Bainbridge Giants in Bainbridge, GA. 5-0 win (as Florida State College):

  • Random School Football Record: Most consecutive games with a catch - 43, Rashad Greene, 2011-14

  • Horoscope: You'll have to deal with past issues that are not a closed chapter for you. Because of this, you may feel unhappy or emotionally unstable. You may become a subject of intrigues and gossip. There may also be a desire to escape the reality during this transit.

Georgia Tech

  • Birthdate: November 5, 1892 at Mercer University in Macon, GA (Central City Park). 12-6 loss (as the Georgia School of Technology):

  • Random School Football Record: Most third-down conversions in a game - 14, 11/9/2000 vs Virginia

  • Horoscope: This transit will make you feel happy and satisfied. You will enjoy even the slightest pleasure and pass this feeling on to others. Nothing will upset you. You may also feel a bit lazy and seek pleasure. Your relationships will flourish. In the area of finance, you may make a good investment, or you may get a great opportunity to acquire finances.

Louisville:

  • Birthdate: October 11, 1912 at Transylvania University in Lexington, KY (Thomas Field). 32-0 win

  • Random School Football Record: Most fumbles forced in a game - 15, 11/14/1970 vs Cincinnati

  • Horoscope: Feelings of pragmatism and sober thinking will prevail. Instead of having fun, you will prefer to keep to your routine and do your duties. You will have a great self-discipline that allows you to complete your tasks quickly and efficiently.

Louisville was eating beans after their bowl win.

Miami (FL):

  • Birthdate: October 23, 1926 vs. Rollins College freshmen in Coral Gables, FL (University Stadium). 7-0 win

  • Random School Football Record: Most points in a shutout victory - 62, 10/27/1928 vs Havana

  • Horoscope: The Sun shines directly on you. It's a natural fresh start—a time when you’re called to step forward with clarity, courage, and presence. Your identity, your self-expression, your vitality—all come into focus. Others are more likely to notice you, and you may feel a renewed sense of confidence and drive.

NC State

  • Birthdate: March 12, 1892 vs. Raleigh Academy in Raleigh, NC (Athletic Park). 14-6 win (as North Carolina A&M) (Also, I think this is the first team I have seen with a March birthday)

  • Random School Football Record: Lowest career INT percentage - 1.44%, Jacoby Brissett, 2014-15 (11 INTs on 764 attempts)

  • Horoscope: Be careful about misunderstandings, especially at home. It will be more challenging for you to maintain objectivity and to keep to the facts, so it is not a good time to compromise and negotiate. You may also experience small problems, especially with electronics.

North Carolina:

  • Birthdate: October 18, 1888 vs. Wake Forest College (now Wake Forest University) in Raleigh, NC (State Fairgrounds II). 6-4 loss

  • Random School Football Record: Most INTs by a linebacker in a season - 5, Buddy Curry, 1979

  • Horoscope: Watch out for extreme mood swings! There is also an increased likelihood of quarrels and disputes with your loved ones, especially females, during this transit. You may have more difficulty expressing your emotions. (UHHHHHHHHH)

Pitt

  • Birthdate: October 11, 1890 vs. Allegheny Athletic Association in Pittsburgh, PA (Exposition Park). 38-0 loss (as Western University of Pennsylvania):

  • Random School Football Record: Most consecutive field goals made - 16, Trey Butkowski, 2025 (Kick Butkowski)

  • Horoscope: Your subconscious motives and the psychological causes of your actions will resurface. You may experience moments of frustration, but if you learn to work with this energy, it can help you to understand and solve your problems. However, you may also be irritated and have no idea why you are acting according to patterns of behavior learned in the past, even on a subconscious level. This transit gives you the ideal opportunity to work with these patterns and break them.

Posting old Pitt Stadium with the Dinocat on it for maximum psychic damage. Love you Pitt fans!

SMU:

  • Birthdate: October 9, 1915 at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, TX (TCU campus). 43-0 loss

  • Random School Football Record: Most fumble recoveries in a season - 6, B.J. Stankovich, 1994

  • Horoscope: You will feel happy with yourself and overflow with healthy self-esteem. Your desires and emotions will be in complete harmony, and you will use your impulses and passions for achieving positive results. You will also be more independent and willing to take initiative.

Stanford:

  • Birthdate: January 30, 1892 vs. Hopkins Academy in Redwood City, CA. 10-6 win

  • Random School Football Record: Most kick return TDs in a season - 3, Chris Owusu, 2009

  • Horoscope: You will think about how your actions will affect the achievement of your goals in the long run. The details will not be very interesting for you because you will be focusing on broader context. It is also a great time to continue your professional training, you may for example decide to attend a course or a training program.

Syracuse:

  • Birthdate: November 23, 1889 vs. University of Rochester. 36-0 loss

  • Random School Football Record: Most punts by an opponent in a game - 13, 1968 vs Holy Cross

  • Horoscope: This is a time of emotional self-awareness and renewal. Others may notice your sensitivity or mood shifts, so it’s a good day to choose gentle surroundings and activities that support emotional balance. You may feel a sudden urge to change your appearance or begin something new—go for it, but check in with your inner compass first.

Virginia

  • Birthdate: December 15, 1887 at Pantops Academy in Pantops, VA. 0-0 tie (I can’t decide if this is Pant Ops or Pan Tops, cause Pant Operations is hilarious and then a town being called Pan Tops is hilarious too, so don’t tell me)

  • Random School Football Record: Most consecutive shutouts - 10, Sept. 1908 to Oct. 1908

  • Horoscope: You will feel the desire for adventure and for discharging your excessive energy. Beware of hasty behavior and communicating harshly with others. You will profess the motto "risk is profit". You will not lack courage, but make sure that you stay rational when you make decisions. However, it is a good time to get out of routine, do something unusual, and follow your feelings. Your reactions will be fast, you will make decisions easily and you will follow your instincts.

Virginia Tech

  • Birthdate: October 21, 1892 vs. St. Albans Lutheran Boys School in Blacksburg, VA. 14-10 win (as Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College):

  • Random School Football Record: Longest field goal - 61 yards, Wayne Latimer, 10/11/1975 vs FSU

  • Horoscope: This transit provides an ideal opportunity to connect with your intuition. You will understand things more abstractly than through logic. The result of your efforts will be great thanks to this transit. You may not feel motivated to work now, but you should not procrastinate.

Wake Forest

  • Birthdate: October 18, 1888 vs. the University of North Carolina in Raleigh, NC (State Fairgrounds II). 6-4 loss (as Wake Forest College):

  • Random School Football Record: Longest drive by time of possession - 10:08, 10/7/2000 vs Vanderbilt

  • Horoscope: You will feel the need for excitement, and you will have the energy and desire to overcome obstacles. However, you might throw yourself into things without thinking about the consequences. You will be passionate in all areas of life, sometimes until reaching your limits. Try to approach these situations with more caution in order to avoid getting into unpleasant situations or even endangering your health.

This photo lives in my head. So you can enjoy this too.

CUSA

Delaware

  • Birthdate: October 26, 1889 vs. Delaware Field Club of Wilmington in Wilmington, DE. 74-0 loss (as Delaware College):

  • Random School Football Record: Most 40-yard field goals in a season - 7, Nate Reed, 2025

  • Horoscope: You feel restless, you want to express your individuality and stand out in the crowd. Your plans will be fulfilled faster than you expect, and new opportunities may arise. You will be full of new ideas and new perspectives.

You wanted a drone shot of Delaware’s stadium? You got it!

FIU:

  • Birthdate: August 29, 2002 vs. Saint Peter’s College (now Saint Peter’s University) in Miami, FL. 27-3 win

  • Random School Football Record: Highest yards per play in a game - 12.8, 9/29/2018 vs Arkansas Pine-Bluff

  • Horoscope: More frequent traveling or commuting can be expected. This transit can cause problems with transport and technologies. You should also think carefully before signing any contracts or making important decisions. If you can, postpone these things until your mind calms down.

Jacksonville State

  • Birthdate: October 15, 1904 vs. Birmingham University High School. 51-0 loss (as Jacksonville State Normal School):

  • Random School Football Record: Most solo tackles in a season - 84, Sidney Tyus, 1995

  • Horoscope: Your schedule will be packed with events, which will be very satisfying. You will be more curious than usual and perceive life from a different perspective. You may use electronics for communication more frequently. You may feel more nervous than you usually do.

Kennesaw State:

  • Birthdate: September 3, 2015 at East Tennessee State University in Johnson City, TN (Kermit Tipton Stadium). 56-16 win

  • Random School Football Record: Fewest fumbles lost in a season - 2, 2023

  • Horoscope: Although you know what you want and you can say it, there are obstacles that make it impossible for you to succeed. You will be slightly upset and distracted. Try not to get upset too much by these things and look forward to the future. Feelings of pragmatism and sober thinking will prevail.

Liberty (as Lynchburg Baptist College):

  • Birthdate: September 26, 1973 vs. Massanutten Military Academy in Lynchburg, VA (City Stadium). 42-32 loss

  • Random School Football Record: Most team TFLs in a game - 16, 2000 vs Samford

  • Horoscope: Tendencies to emotional extremes and the "all or nothing" approach can greatly affect your mood. You may want to make changes in all areas of your life and break out of bad habits. You might get involved in a power struggle.

Middle Tennessee

  • Birthdate: November 11, 1911 vs. Fitzgerald and Clark in Murfreesboro, TN. 6-0 loss (as Middle Tennessee State Normal School)

  • Random School Football Record: Most career punt returns - 121, Orlando Crenshaw, 1988-1991

  • Horoscope: Be careful not to have overly high expectations and do not overestimate your capabilities. This transit indicates overspending, excessive optimism and extravagance, so it is important to focus on moderation.

Missouri State

  • Birthdate: October 6, 1909 vs. Springfield High School in Springfield, MO (Normal Field). 29-0 win (as Fourth District Normal School)

  • Random School Football Record: Most third quarter points in a game - 33, 10/9/1993 vs Illinois State

  • Horoscope: You will be controlled by your passions. If you use them positively, you can achieve your goals and venture boldly into all challenges. The pitfalls of this transit are hidden in bad temper, impatience, and even aggressiveness. You will also tend to make hasty decisions.

New Mexico State

  • Birthdate: January 1, 1894 at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque, NM Territory. 17-6 loss (as New Mexico A&M)

  • Random School Football Record: Most consecutive completions in a game - 16, 10/15/2006 Chase Holbrook vs Boise State

  • Horoscope: As the Sun lights up your 11th house, the focus shifts to the collective. Friendships, groups, networks, and future-oriented goals are energized. This is a time to reconnect with your greater vision and find your people—those who share your ideals or support your growth.

Sam Houston

  • Birthdate: November 9, 1912 vs. Huntsville High School in Huntsville, TX. 18-0 win (as Sam Houston Normal Institute)

  • Random School Football Record: Highest career catches per game - 6.63, Jarrod Fuller, 2003-04

  • Horoscope: During this transit, you will feel the desire for adventure and novel experiences. You will not be too patient and persistent, and if unexpected problems arise, you may react with irritation. On the other hand, this transit may also bring unexpected experiences that will put a smile on your face.

Western Kentucky

  • Birthdate: August 1, 1913 vs. Elizabethtown High School in Bowling Green, KY. 20-0 win (as Western Kentucky State Normal School):

  • Random School Football Record: Longest INT return - Juwan Gardner, 96 yards, 2014 vs Old Dominion

  • Horoscope: During this transit, you will feel the desire for adventure and novel experiences. You will not be too patient and persistent, and if unexpected problems arise, you may react with irritation. On the other hand, this transit may also bring unexpected experiences that will put a smile on your face.

I hope you enjoyed them but understand if some of you didn’t like your horoscopes… I am sorry, I consulted the stars and you can chose to believe in the stars or not.

It was fun for me to see horoscopes but through the lens of football terms in my head.

Also, if you’re curious what sign your program is on the astrology calendar, they are likely one of these five:

  • Virgo: August 23 – September 22

  • Libra: September 23 – October 22

  • Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

  • Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

  • Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

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