Sickovision 2025

We preview the entries in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest based on the very scientific rankings of Goodness and Sickoness.

Author

Sickos Committee
May 16, 2025

Today, Joey and the Eurovision Sickos in our Discord come to us with a collaborative preview of the Eurovision Song Contest. This year is pretty stacked for real Sickoness.

If you’ve never watched Eurovision before, take a stroll through these entries and join us on Saturday, May 17th at 3PM EDT as we live tweet/skeet (and possibly livestream commentary of) this year’s Eurovision.

It is Eurovision season, folks. For the last few years, we’ve posted the Official Sickos Committee Eurovision Power Rankings.

Cat’s out of the bag on this one. We got these power rankings from one source. That source?

This time we actually had our lovely discord community vote on their favourite (and most sicko) Eurovision entries. Here’s the Top 30:

For an explanation, here’s a quick breakdown of the Top 10.

Table of Contents

01. Finland: “Ich Komme” - Erika Vikmann

What Makes This Song Good: Heart-pounding thumping dance track with an extremely confident stage presence that transcends the language barrier.

What Makes This Song Sicko: That stage presence transcends the language barrier because good lord look at this video from the national qualifiers.

“Ich Komme,” if you couldn’t tell, is German for “I’m coming”. I haven’t looked further into it but I assume that means she is planning on coming to German-speaking Switzerland for Eurovision and nothing else.

02. Lithuania: “Tavo Akys” - Katarsis

What Makes This Song Good: A dramatic and emotionally charge alt-rock song that stands out in a competition filled with sugar and candy.

What Makes This Song Sicko: tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo tavo TAVO TAVO

03. Sweden: “Bara Bada Badstu” - KAJ

What Makes This Song Good: A group of Swedish-speaking Finns representing Sweden with a goofy song about saunas that is insanely catchy and fun.

What Makes This Song Sicko: Sweden typically sends the most factory sealed perfect pop music, but this time they’re sending a curveball. Including the staging that includes lumberjacks in towels celebrating the joy of saunas. Also, one of two artists representing a country other than their home country this season (shoutout to the Norwegian, Emmy, who is representing Ireland for some reason.) It’s a proud Eurovision tradition that can go as high as Celine Dion winning for Switzerland and as low as Flo-Rida representing San Marino.

04. Albania: “Zjerm” - Shkodra Elektronike

What Makes This Song Good: Banger. Dark electronic folk in a rare dialect of Albanian that makes the song sound both incredibly personal and intimate, but also huge and world-beating.

What Makes This Song Sicko: The “rap” break by a deep voiced 53 year old Albanian man standing so incredibly still. Kind of jarring.

05. Austria: “Wasted Love” - JJ

What Makes This Song Good: JJ is an absolute powerhouse of a singer. There’s some extremely sturdy pipes in that small 23 year old frame. 

What Makes This Song Sicko: It’s an Opera Pop song, which is always fun to see. Also, the oddsmakers have no fucking clue where this is going to finish. I’ve seen this predicted everywhere from 3rd to missing the finals all together. This could finish literally anywhere.

06. Luxembourg: “La Poupée Monte Le Son” - Laura Thorn

What Makes This Song Good: A perfectly packaged pop song. If it weren’t for the French, you would assume this was straight out of the Swedish Pop factory.

What Makes This Song Sicko: This is one that is exactly for the Eurovision Sickos in that it is supposed to be a sequel to Luxembourg’s Eurovision winning entry from 1965. You gotta be deep in the Eurofan discourse to understand this bad boy. Or be Luxembourgish, I suppose, which is probably why it won its National Qualifier.

07. Italy: “Volevo Essere Un Duro” - Lucio Corsi

What Makes This Song Good: An extremely Italian song with very deep and meaningful lyrics (in Italian) sung by a rock superstar (in Italy).

What Makes This Song Sicko: I mean this video is Extremely Italy for better and for worse. Also, this song didn’t even win Italy’s national qualifier. The winner of Sanremo, the Italian Qualifier, decided he didn’t care about the rest of Europe and only cared about being Champion of Italy. So, runner-up Lucio was drafted instead.

08. Malta: “Serving” - Miriana Conte

What Makes This Song Good: What makes it good is what makes it Sicko. Moving on.

What Makes This Song Sicko: That chorus feels incomplete, doesn’t it? Like there’s a word missing? That word is a Maltese word that translates to “Singing”. The organizers made Miriana Conte censor that word. That word is “kant,” and now you know what the song is about.

Maltese singing, of course. 

09. Ukraine: “Bird of Pray” - Ziferblat

What Makes This Song Good: Super cool alt-pop with some experimental elements that sound almost like modern Beatles (although that might be me getting too into the weeds with their aesthetics) that sounds extremely unique to the rest of the field. I’m not sure whether it’s broken english confusing “bird of prey” and “songbird” or if it’s an intentional play on words positioning “Bird of Pray” as the opposite of a bird of prey. Death of the author, i’m claiming it’s the former, and it’s sick. 

What Makes This Song Sicko: Ukraine has their all-time record of nine-straight Qualifications on the line, and this could be the most precarious one yet with odds hovering right at the qualification line. Also, rumours say their staging is quite poor by Ukrainian standards. Could be an interesting results announcement!

10. Germany: “Baller” - Abor & Tyna

What Makes This Song Good: For the first time since 2007, Germany is actually sending a song in German! And it’s a banger! A club track that goes insanely hard and it sounds so damn out of place in a completely different way than the Ukrainian entry. They’re going to be playing this in Euro clubs for the next half-decade.

What Makes This Song Sicko: We’re not 100% sure Tyna can sing live. Every time they’ve been scheduled to perform this live since the qualifier, she’s pulled out due to laryngitis. Also, despite their auto-bid to the finals, Germany has been welded to the bottom 10 for nearly a decade. Could this be the turnaround?

11-30: The Best of the Rest

There’s a lot more Sicko content to be found in this year’s Eurovision entries. Here’s how the rest of the field shook out.

And that’s our rankings! The Grand Final will be on Saturday, May 17th, and we’ll be live-posting about it on our Twitter and Bluesky, as well as on our patron-only Discord server, so please come hang out there!

If you missed the semifinals and want to catch up with some Sickos commentary, we were live on our Twitch on Tuesday and Thursday. Sync that commentary up with the Peacock (USA) or YouTube (Canada) streams of the Tuesday and Thursday semifinals. Did all our songs qualify? Did we completely whiff on a few? Watch the VOD and find out!