WE’RE BACK FOR ONE LAST TIME THIS FOOTBALL SEASON! We’re big fans of weird ballpark and stadium food combinations. We love the gigantic portions or weird combinations of food and even things that seem really humanly impossible to eat while seated for a game. So in that spirit, our resident weird food connoisseur, the Corn Correspondent (Corn-espondent, as so many of you wish we called it, but damn, it is too difficult to say out loud), Andy, normally does a weekly food blog where he combines ingredients from two different teams randomly selected each week and gives you the recipe here during the season. I, Commish, will be adding in photo captions and other things to the blog. Here is the Non-Trademark-Infringing Post-Graduate Football National Championship Edition. Let’s see what’s on the menu.

You thought the football season was over. You thought we crowned Montana State and Indiana as our champions of the upper echelon. Not only that, but you thought we closed the book on the year and moved on with our lives. YOU FOOL! YOU ABSOLUTE RUBE!

While we all were busy watching football on Saturdays, grown men were out there playing on Sundays. And apparently they have their own national championship this weekend, some sort of big game, they tell me. Let’s give them a tribute by making a food fusion to celebrate the teams from [*checks notes*] Seattle and New England.

When thinking about this, my first idea was to do something related to Starbucks and Dunkin’... like maybe a blend of their signature roasts? Create some sort of coffee-Frankenstein’s Monster? There’s just one problem with this idea. I don’t drink coffee. I wouldn’t properly appreciate what came out of that experiment. Would not have made for a good newsletter post.

Then I thought, what about something fruity? Washington is famous for apples, and Massachusetts is famous for cranberries. Is there anything I can do with this? I bet it’d make for a good pie or an even better cocktail. But I was looking for something more savory.

Then it hit me like a well-tossed fish. What is one of the most famous landmarks in Seattle? Why the Pike Place Fish Market, of course! Let’s make ourselves a delicious seafood sandwich!

When I think of fish in the Pacific Northwest, I picture grizzly bears standing in a stream, catching fresh salmon right out of the water. I might not be a grizzly bear myself, but I can definitely work with some salmon. And who doesn’t love a classic New England lobster roll? Some deliciously tender lobster dressed with mayonnaise and served on a buttery bun? My mouth is watering as I type this. And what if I took out the lobster and used salmon instead? Off to the grocery store I went!

I already had Duke’s Mayo on hand from previous food fusions as well as it being a staple in my daily life. (Duke’s marketing team, if you’re reading this, we'd love a sponsor.) I was able to find all the other ingredients at my local store.

Yes, I can already see you commenting and Commish being snarky in the photo caption (me being snarky???) Never). I know I used Atlantic salmon instead of Pacific. But we can pretend that I was doing my part to help the environment. Did you know Atlantic salmon is an invasive species in Washington? According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, they are a threat to the native species. So if anything, I’m helping restore nature to the way it should be. You’re welcome!

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to find them, but luckily I did get top-sliced hot dog buns. These slices on the top are the preferred serving vessel for a lobster roll, but you can use a “normal” hot dog bun in a pinch. Then while I was there, I saw a bag of Cape Cod chips and decided, “Why not? Let's buy them too.”

The salmon I grabbed was not sushi grade, so I did have to cook it before I could eat it. It was too cold for me to want to go outside and grill. I didn’t want to stand there shivering while waiting for the salmon to cook, so I decided to pan-fry the fish with some olive oil, a little bit of lemon juice, and some salt & pepper. Once the fish was safely cooked, I chopped it up into bite-sized chunks and added it to a bowl with one chopped stalk of celery and ⅓ cup of Duke’s mayonnaise, mixing well.

After that was mixed, I split open the buns, spread some more Duke’s Mayo inside, and placed them face-side down in a hot pan to toast the inside. This isn’t a necessary step, but it gave a little more crispiness to an otherwise very soft sandwich.

Serve a couple of these up with some extra lemon wedges and a handful of those Cape Cod chips, and you’ve got a good meal. It tasted exactly as you could expect. A lobster roll, but with a salmon flavor. The celery added a fresh crunch to the sandwich, and the mayo kept it all creamy with a little bit of that signature twang of classic Duke’s.

The lemons brightened up everything, and the toasted bun was pillowy soft with that slightly crispy, toasty crust.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy the Non-Trademark-Infringing Post-Graduate Football National Championship on Sunday!