Sickos Committee Weekly Recap - The Sickos Six Summation

Here at the Sickos Committee, we really love the Old-Timey newspaper headlines from college football games from the 1920s and earlier. We wanted to do a weekly recap of some Sickos games in this old-timey style of writing for the fun of it. Just try to imagine an old school news reporter reading this aloud to you on an old transistor radio. 

Will it be funny? Maybe, but probably not. 

Will we use the thesaurus a ton? You bet. 

Also, we don’t know how many games we will write about each week and we really don’t know which ones we will pick to write about. Maybe we will call it the Sickos Six Summation or Synopsis but here is our first experiment at this. Hope you enjoy it!

Doomed in Dublin

AUG 27TH - Dublin, Ireland. 

The plucky upstarts from Evanston traveled to the Emerald Isle for a clash on the gridiron against the Cornhuskers of Nebraska. Head Coach Scott Frost’s merry men leapt out to a 14-3 lead only to relinquish it before halftime going down 17-14. Humbled by the halftime deficit, the Huskers hurried out to a 28-17 lead in the third quarter. Then it all changed after a dastardly deceitful deed planned by the Huskers Head Coach in the form of a surreptitiously sneaky sly onside kick attempt. The Wildcats of Northwestern were ready for it, and they pounced on the pointy pigskin and then pummeled their way down the shortened field to cut the deficit to 28-24. The Fighting Fizgerald’s found themselves emboldened by the erroneous endeavor of their foes and took the lead 31-28 in the 4th quarter. The Huskers' hopes of a heroic revival rested on one final drive with 97 yards of the field to travel after a pinpoint precision prolific punt by the plucky pumas. Finally, an ill-fated interception befell the befuddled lads from Lincoln, and the Wildcats added to the woes of the haunted Huskers.

Wildcats 31 - Huskers 28. 

Victorious & Vivacious 

AUG 27TH - Honolulu, HI. 

The confident Commodores gave the cold shoulder to the early Hawaii 7-0 lead. The vibrant Vandy offense rattled off offensive records not seen since the days of World War I. The Commodores, led by their Commandant Clark Lea, cruised to a comfortable and crushing win over hapless Hawaii.

Vandy 63 - Hawaii 10.  

Heroic Huskies in Defeat

AUG 27TH - Logan, UT

An underestimated UConn arrived in Logan to battle the Utah State Aggies. The formerly chagrined Connecticut crew crept out to a curious early 14-0 lead much to the surprise of the  awestruck and aghast Aggie onlookers. Jim Mora’s men managed misfortune & misery in the form of ill-fated injuries but fell behind the Mountain West’s determined defending champions 24-14. The Huskies hung tough and clawed back, cutting the Aggies advantage down to 24-20. A quizzical and questionable pass interference call allowed the Aggies to convert a crucial 3rd down and they charged in for the game sealing score shortly thereafter. 

Utah State 31 - UConn 20. 

Saddened Sun Bowl

AUG 27th - El Paso, TX 

A near sellout crowd in El Paso fought through lightning delays to watch their UTEP Miners play against their conference foe North Texas. UTEP’s early missteps and red zone mishaps found the Miners mired in mediocrity but only down 14-13 at halftime. The Miners misfortunes multiplied in the second half as the Mean Green matriculated the movement of the football fortuitously and forcefully into the El Paso endzone. The Mean Green marched their way to their first victory of the season. 

North Texas 31 - UTEP 13.

Agony for the Aggies

AUG 27th - Las Cruces, NM. 

A lightning filled location in Las Cruces was the scene for the season opener for the game between Nevada and New Mexico State. The scoring opened with a woeful snap over the woebegone Nevada quarterback giving the Aggies an opening super sweet safety and a tiny 2-0 lead in the second quarter. Nevada put the poor snap in the past and pounded the Aggies for 17 straight points after their poor pigskin parlay. The Aggies attempted to mount an answer but their admirable attempts all but fell short. The Aggies enticingly entangled the Wolfpack to a daring duel but could never tie the game even though they continued to manage, minimizing the Nevada margin. A few Wolfpack field goals sealed the win late in the 4th Quarter. 

Nevada 23 - New Mexico State - 12. 

Champaign Contentedness

AUG 27th - Champaign, IL.

The illustrious Illini rushing attack set the tone for the contest, racking up 260 yards of rambunctious running, averaging 6.3 yard per carry. The Illinois defensive dominance capped the Cowboys capabilities in passing the pill and contained the well-organized Wyoming running raid, not allowing it to fully run riot. Bret Bielema’s boys brought a bruising brand of bully-ball and the Cowboys couldn’t conjure up an answer. 

Illinois 38 - Wyoming 6.